Page 14 of Doc's Decision

I hate imposing and hate asking for favors.

Especially from Raven, who already does so damn much for the club. “Nah, that’s okay. You don’t have to do that. I’ll figure something out.”

“Shut up,” she says, already yanking her keys out of her pocket. “I want to. You need formula. I’m getting you formula. Simple as that.”

I let out a breath, bouncing Kash lightly.

He’s still fussing, but not as loudly now. “You’re a lifesaver, Raven. Seriously. I owe you.”

“No, you don’t.” She holds out her hand, wiggling her fingers. “Just give me some cash, and we’ll call it even.”

I fish a crumpled fifty out of my cut and slap it into her palm. “Thanks again. I mean it.”

She waves me off. “Yeah, yeah. You’re just lucky I like that adorable little nugget of yours.” She chucks Kash gently under the chin, and he hiccups. “Be back in a few.”

And then she’s gone, the door swinging shut behind her from a gust of wind, resulting in a bang that makes Kash startle and let out another ear-splitting wail.

“Shit, I’m sorry. Shh, shh. It’s okay, buddy. Aunt Raven’s gonna be right back with some yummy formula for you. Just gotta wait a little longer.”

But he’s not having it.

His cries climb in volume and intensity, and his body stiffens in my arms as he screams.

I can feel his hunger, his frustration, his utter inability to understand why I’m not feeding himright now.

I pace the length of the trailer, humming Metallica under my breath, the way I always do when I’m trying to soothe him.

But it’s not working.

Nothing’s fucking working.

He just keeps on howling, face purpling, tears and snot smearing across my neck where his head is nestled.

Fuck, this is bad. Really bad.

My kid is starving and miserable, and it’s all my goddamn fault.

Some father I am, I can’t even remember to stock up on fucking formula.

I should’ve known better.

I should’ve double-checked our supplies days ago.

Stupid, stupid mistake.

My stomach twists with guilt and self-loathing. I’m a pathetic excuse for a dad.

No wonder my own father was never around. Probably couldn’t stand the sight of his useless fuckup son.

I cut off that train of thought before it can spiral any further.

I can’t afford to wallow right now.

Kash needs me to keep my shit together.

I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly, trying to project a calm I definitely don’t feel. “Just a little longer, Kash,” I murmur, my voice cracking. “Raven will be back any second now. You can hold on ‘til then. I know you can, tough guy. Shh, don’t cry. Please don’t cry . . .”

Just then, there’s a light knock on the door.

---