Page 17 of The Mountain Man's Siren

He puts a hand on my shoulder, and I finally look up at him. We were thick as thieves growing up together. It was always the two of us against Crew and Amos. Out of everyone I’ve cut out of my life, I’ve missed Aiden the most.

“Is this about the service? There are support groups and therapy and medication. You don’t have to keep dealing with it alone.”

“Not that,” I grunt. I’m not about to go spilling my guts just so some therapist can ask me how it made me feel to kill other people. Because the answer to that question is pretty damn shitty. Besides, the last thing I deserve is a release from the pain that lashes at me.

He follows me into the cabin. It still smells like her. You’d think after six weeks I could finally find a way to rid the place of her. But nothing’s worked. From the bent pages of my book to that tube of lip gloss she left on the bathroom counter, she’s everywhere. The look in her eyes when I told her to have a nicetrip haunts my waking hours while my dreams feature her sweet laughter and gentle touch.

“So, it’s a woman then,” he says.

I start a fire in the library’s fireplace. The crackling sound doesn’t soothe me. Nothing does lately. Not like she did. “Doesn’t matter. She’s not here anymore.”

Aiden sighs and crosses to the cabinet where I store the good liquor. He pours each of us two fingers of whiskey and passes me a glass. “Start at the beginning.”

The whiskey burns on the way down and then I’m pouring out the story to Aiden. Even telling him how she looked at me before she left. I think this is the first time I’ve talked to another person other than Everly in months.

When I’m done, I wait for my brother to tell me I did the right thing, that letting her go was the smart decision. But instead, he sets his glass down on the table between us and glares at me. “Love requires bravery, and you are a fuckin’ coward.”

11

EVERLY

“I have the flu again,”I tell my doctor when she comes in the room. I’ve always liked the older woman with her coiffed silver hair and patient smile. Dr. Moore may not be an expert in my disease but as my primary care doctor, she’s been through a lot of ups and downs with me.

“Because you’re throwing up?” She prompts.

I nod, feeling miserable. A week ago, I had to come in for anti-nausea medication. My stomach just isn’t sitting right anymore. I know it’s probably a combination of the flu and stress from my dad’s trial.

According to the recent release of a few redacted reports, it looks like he should be free soon. Maybe then the reporters will go away. I hope so. I keep missing classes because I’m so sick. I can barely keep anything down and I have no appetite.

“I’m afraid it’s not the flu,” she says as she takes a seat on her rolling stool. “Your urine test came back. You’re pregnant.”

“No, I’ve had my period. I mean, it was super light and only lasted like a day, but it was at the right time and besides, I’m stressed. It totally made sense,” I explain. Her test must have been wrong.

“Spotting during early pregnancy does occur for some women,” she reassures me.

“Your test malfunctioned. It’s the only explanation. They told me there was like a one percent chance or less that I could conceive.” My mind goes back to that week with Owen. I never once worried about pregnancy. After all, the doctor I saw made it sound like it was impossible.

“Miracles happen,” Dr. Moore says.

I let out a slow breath. I’m carrying a small piece of Owen with me. It’s me and Owen, a memento from our time together.

“Why don’t you make an appointment to see me next week after you’ve processed this, and we can talk about your options then?”

Options.The word catches my attention and I press a hand to my stomach. I don’t need time to think this through. I already know what I’m going to do. “I want it.”

Even if Owen never wants this baby and rejects it, I’ll still love it. He may not be father material but I’m not afraid to be a single mom. There are a lot of brave women out there who raise a child without a man.

She nods. “Alright then, we’ll still follow up and make sure the new anti-nausea medication is working for you.”

I leavethe doctor’s office in a daze and wander around campus. I never thought this would happen for me. Taking a seat on one of the stone benches in front of the lake, I can’t help but feel like my whole life has just changed. Everything that seemed so clear-cut suddenly isn’t.How is it my whole world can shift in the course of an hour?

A mama duck waddles by with baby ducks following after her. The sight of the four of them makes my heart smile. See, there are single moms even in nature.

I take a deep breath and press a hand to my stomach. “Um, hi. I’m your mom and it looks like well, you’re here and I’m totally surprised. But it’s OK because I’m going to protect you and look out for you and help you grow up to be healthy and strong. So, just you know, stay there and keep growing. I’ll figure out this mom thing, I promise.”

I drop my hand and nod. As introductions go, I don’t think it was a terrible one.

The sound of my name floats to me on the breeze and I cringe as I look over my shoulder. I’m expecting another round of reporters. Campus security is doing their best to hold them at bay, but a few manage to sneak through every day.

---