Page 46 of Finding Out

Finally he collapsed on top of me, pressing me into the plush carpet. I never wanted him to move. If only we could stay like this, in this moment. Forever. On my back on the floor, I surveyed the room, cataloging the pieces of art. My heart warmed at the memory of hisface as I first took in each painting. Like he understood how each painting affected me. I’d never felt this type of connection with another person. And for me, it was so much more than just physical.

He shifted his weight and settled so his body rested alongside mine, and with a hand caressing my arm, he studied me, wearing an intense emotion. One I was feeling too.

“This is good, right?” I asked, suddenly needing reassurance that we were in the same headspace.

He blinked, his forehead creasing. “Fuck. If you have to ask that question, then maybe we need to start over.”

A giggle slipped from between my lips. “The sex is better than good,” I assured him.

“Damn right,” he growled.

I patted his cheek, loving the sensation of the scruff of his jaw on my palm as he leaned into my hand.

“What were you asking, then?” He pressed his lips to the center of my palm, and warmth rushed through me.

This moment was perfect. I was afraid if I spoke, I’d mess it up. The nerves almost silenced me, but if we were going to make a go of things, I had to get comfortable with being open with him. “I meant you and me outside the bedroom. When we’re not having sex. We’re good, right?”

“Baby girl, I love nothing more than spending time with you.” He lifted to his knees and held a hand out. “Let’s go up and shower, and then we can watch some more Neil Caffrey.”

“You remember his name?” The idea that he cared about my stupid show made my heart skip.

He rolled his eyes. “I might have watched a few episodes ofWhite Collarthis week.”

“See?” I let him pull me to my feet. “I knew you’d love him.”

He shook his head but leaned in again to kiss me with the hint of a smile on his face.

After a shower and two episodes, I was curled up in Tom’s arms. As boneless as I should feel after our evening together, though, I couldn’t banish the guilt that swirled in my stomach.

It shouldn’t matter what other people thought of us if I was happy, but life wasn’t that simple.

“What’s the matter?” His deep voice startled me. “I can hear the wheels in your brain turning, baby girl.”

His warm palm ran up and down my back, soothing me.

“I just don’t want anything to mess this up.”

He tensed under me. “I don’t either.”

Last week I had been convinced we couldn’t keep this between us. But right now, our connection felt new and scary. Like even the smallest bump could throw us off course.

“Would you be okay if we didn’t tell people about us yet?”

“I’ll wait as long as you want.” He pressed his lips to the top of my head. “All that matters is having you here with me.”

Wrapped in his arms like this, it was easy to believe him.

Christmas.Avery was four or five, in that prime Christmas magic age, the last time I was this excited about the holiday. For the last few years, I’d dreaded it. Last Christmas, I’d even gone away with Leo’s family to avoid spending the entire day with the Jacobses. Since Avery had moved back to Boston after college, we’d spent Christmas with her best friend’s family. But spending the day around Wren had been torture.

This year, spending time with her was all I wanted. We’d been together for a week now, but we hadn’t gone public yet. With Avery’s wedding just weeks away, we’d decided it would be best to wait until she and Chris were back from their honeymoon before we made waves.

I stepped out on to the street in front of the massive house and shut the car door. The Jacobs family lived on the outskirts of Boston in one of the many country club communities. Heath had been running Rapid Falls Country Club since the girls were in elementary school. Before Avery graduated from high school, she and I lived three doors down from here. Looking at the large snow-covered yards, it was hard to imagine I’d had the time to take care of one of my own.

With a shake of my head, I pulled the bags of gifts out of my back seat. I was so much happier with my ten-by-ten yard in downtown Boston. Raising Avery here was ideal, but I wouldn’t move back now. I liked my city life.

As I approached the house, my phone buzzed once and then again in my pocket. Before I could check it, the front door swung open.

“Dammit. My husband was right.” Colleen Jacobs called from the entryway.

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