Page 124 of The Foul Out

I tipped my chin up and inhaled deeply, then let it out slowly. This was something I’d thought about over and over since the day Jace apologized. I’d tried to pinpoint small lies Kyle must have told me to cover up the truth. But I couldn’t find one.

“Like I said, it was a bloody awful decision. But he didn’t lie.” She scooted closer and grasped my hand. “His omission doesn’t negate all the good things. Because there were bucketloads of those. If you expect perfection from everyone, you’ll only be disappointed.”

“I don’t expect him to be perfect,” I snapped, lurching forward and slamming my beer onto the coffee table. “I’m the issue here.”

“What?” She cocked her head, her brow creasing.

“You’re right. He may have withheld information, but he didn’t lie. I’ve replayed every interaction we’ve had, and I can’t come up with one time he lied to me. I get it. But still, this awful feeling lingers inside me.” My voice cracked as I pressed a hand over the ache in my chest. “What if I can’t trust him? What if I drive him away with my need to constantly question things? What if I’ll never be good enough for his family? What if I’m the problem?” Now that I’d said the words aloud, the fear crept farther up my throat.

This was exactly what Eleanor had warned against. This was why I couldn’t forgive Jace. It was why I didn’t trust my halfbrother enough to let him in. This was what I did. I pushed people away. So it was only a matter of time before I did it to Kyle.

“Darling.” She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and pulled me in. “Self-sabotage is such an easy trap to fall into.”

Reeling back, I glared at her.

“But nothing in life is certain. It’s all a risk. And I don’t think Kyle expects you to be perfect either.”

I slumped against her.

“Is someone knocking?” Zara tilted her head, frowning. “Blimey, Harper, you need to fix the doorbell.” She released me and shuffled to the door, and a moment later, tone accusatory, she asked, “Who are you?”

I straightened and turned toward the door, my stomach dropping.

James stood at the threshold. Behind him, his mother and his aunt hovered.

“James.” I jumped to my feet.

“Oh.” Zara, who’d glanced back at me, spun on them, hands on her hips. “It’s the brother and the wicked stepfamily.”

“Zara!” Heart lurching, I winced.

“What? The term seems fitting, no?” She crossed her arms over her tan cashmere sweater.

James cleared his throat, his focus fixed on me, shoving his hands into his pockets and rocking back on his heels. “Sorry to drop by without calling.”

“No we’re not.” A gray-haired woman stepped up and pushed James back. “We all know Harper would never have agreed if we’d called.”

My breath caught. If that didn’t sound exactly like her son…

Zara, clearly thinking the same thing, stuck her hand out forcefully. “You must be Kyle’s mother. My husband plays with your son.”

Vivianne dipped her chin in agreement. “We adore Asher.”

“Almost everyone does.” The humor in her tone was dark in a way I’d never heard from her before.

“Can we come in?” Vivianne asked.

“Why?” Zara snarled.

Quickly, I hustled around the sofa. “Yes. Please come in.” I grabbed Zara’s arm and forced her back, giving her a pointed look. “It’s fine.”

“But only if you’re perfectly pleasant. Otherwise, I’m calling Lud,” she threatened. Her bodyguard was in the car, waiting for her. And if she called, he’d be up here to toss everyone out in less than a minute.

The other woman cleared her throat. “Maybe it’s best if we talk in private.”

For the first time tonight, I took Susan in. The last time I’d seen her, she’d been cloaked in grief, having recently lost her husband. She looked better now. The color had returned to her face, and her ashy-blond hair was styled.

“I will not leave,” Zara said, straightening beside me. “Harper is wonderful, and yet you’ve been nothing but awful to her. I won’t stand by and allow anyone to try to convince her she is not worthy of all the best things in life.”

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