Page 77 of Stolen Seconds

Irina

The cold rain intensified the hollowness inside my chest.

Watching Luca walk away from me had felt like a million shards of glass cutting me open, my blood pouring onto the pavement of where he once stood.

It didn’t matter how badly I wanted the outcome to be different. It was meant to be this way. I was only stupid enough to grasp onto a string of hope that was never strong enough to hold us both.

With everything that I had experienced in my life, this was the first time I regretted being associated with the Morozov last name.

My chest ached with grief, but it was different this time. This ache was rough as sandpaper, grating against my heart until I thought I might wither away from agony.

Clutching my shirt to ease the crippling pain, I dragged myself inside the car.

The rush of emotion brimmed to the surface until the dam broke.

Why did it have to behimwhosawme? No one had ever taken the time to see beyond the superficial parts of me. And Luca might’ve not understood the reasons of why I was this way, but he never made me feel less than because of it.

He didn’t know the effect he had on me when he held me, healing wounds I thought would never be sealed.

I’d always looked after myself but with him. . . when he was near me, it felt as if I didn’t need to hold myself together because deep down, I knew he’d catch my fall.

His presence brought me comfort, I realized, and I’d single-handedly ruined that.

Tears spilled down my cheeks as I reversed the car and drove away.

Luca and I never had a fair chance. He was the first man I wanted, but he’d never be mine.

He’d been hurt in ways I couldn’t imagine, shared that with me when I’d given him no reason to, and I’d used it against him.

I knew it was the only way to push him away from me, but I’d cut myself open in the process.

Another piercing cry fell from my lips as I remembered the way he looked at me after. As if he truly hadn’t expected me to say those words. As if every menacing thing I’d ever said to him wasn’t an indication that I would.

He had given up on me, exactly what I wanted. But if that was true, why did the hollowness inside my chest expand with a throbbing dullness I couldn’t get rid of since he walked away.

I was a terrible person. The kind who tainted everything around them because deep down I knew it was easier to be alone than to let someone see how damaged I truly was.

I’d already accepted my fate and giving myself up to Luca would disrupt that. This was bigger than the both of us, and I’d been burned too many times to fight against it.

I was Irina Morozov.

Daughter of thePakhan.

Trapped.

A raw scream tore from my throat as I continued sobbing in the confined space, suffocating in my own rot.

Thisthinginside of me was poisonous, my impending death on the horizon if I allowed it to swallow me whole.

I pounded my fist against the steering wheel as tears streaked down my face, my vision blurring.

The rain pattered harshly against the front window, making it harder to see, but I soaked it in, wishing I could’ve blurred the image of Luca walking away from me instead.

I felt his presence all around me; in the air I breathed, the skin he touched, the mark he unknowingly left on my broken heart.

He was everywhere.

The sound of my phone rung in the air, causing me to jerk my head toward the dashboard where Viktor’s name flashed.

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