Page 11 of Stolen Seconds

I wasn’t oblivious about the origin of my internal issues. I once embraced hope, I once embraced love, and I once embraced sympathy. I felt it all unconditionally until it grew harder to elicit them.

When you’ve been a slave to your own life, it messes you up. And I think I stopped blaming my parents when the route to self-destruction became mind numbingly peaceful.

The only reason my father had the nerve to seek out Nicolai was because my mother had died three years ago and the shame of bringing in his half Russianbastardson would fall on him alone. And as thePakhanno one would question him.

“Do you even know what happened to his mother?”

I held my breath as I waited for his answer.

“No, I stopped all contact with her when she fell pregnant.”

My stomach dropped at his words. “And you just forgot them?”

“His mother was aworkerfor the club I was holding business at. It meant nothing. She refused to stop the pregnancy and. . . ”

“So, you up and left,” I breathed, my heart racing. Shouldn’t that have made me hate my father? It should’ve but I couldn’t hate someone who’d given me his devotion,so what did that make me? “Did my mother know about Nicolai?”

“Of course, she knew. I’m not proud of it, Irina but I had an image to uphold.” The line went silent before he spoke again. “I would’ve terminated the pregnancy whether she had wanted it or not, but she begged me. It was the first and only time I’d ever shown mercy on someone.”

He did have an image to uphold, but that was a horrible thing to have done. I felt sorry for both Nicolai and his mother. It made me wonder what happened to her and how my brother fell under Roman’s protection.

It wasn’t fair to ask Nicolai to take responsibility and become heir to the Bratva eventually, but our worlds had never been fair. They took and took and took.

And Nicolai deserved to know that part of himself whether he wanted to or not.

“I’ll bring him home, but it’ll take time.”

I wanted to create a friendship with my brother first. I missed out on years of knowing him and I would execute that the way I wanted to regardless of what my father said.

He already took him away from me once and I wouldn’t let him do it again.

“I’ll be in touch.”

Sleep wouldn’t come to me. Not when I was jet lagged and had thoughts of my brother roaming around in my mind.

I huffed a sigh as I slipped on my robe and exited my room.

The halls were dimly lit, guiding me down the curved stairway.

I hadn’t been able to explore the entirety of the manor and Aurora had only shown me the important areas of her home.

There were numerous rooms upstairs, and I wondered if one belonged to Nicolai or if he lived elsewhere.

The house was silent except for the crackling of a fireplace.

I hadn’t checked the time before coming down, but I knew it must’ve been late in the night.

As I neared the living room, I heard light whispers and laughter.

Roman and Aurora were nestled together before the fireplace, cocooned with piles of blankets and pillows.

From my position, I could only see Roman’s face, listening intently to something my best friend was saying.

This was the first time I had seen him candid and with the awe filled expression across his face, I knew he loved her as much as the woman in his arms did, if not more.

Aurora huddled closer to him, and he wrapped the blanket around her before looking up to where I stood.

Shit.

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