Page 107 of Stolen Seconds

When Irina’s breathing evened out, I thought she’d fallen asleep, but her voice broke the silence. “The nightmares started after my first panic attack.”

I pressed her further into me to let her know I was awake. I’d waited for Irina to share parts of herself with me willingly, and I would’ve waited longer.

“In each one I’m trapped in a dark room, the walls closing in on me until I can’t breathe.” Her hand was cold as she set it atop mine, holding onto me.

I’d seen what her nightmares did to her, and it scared the fuck out of me.

I didn’t say anything, giving her the power to continue at her own pace. I only hoped that my presence brought her comfort in her vulnerability.

“When I left Russia at eighteen, I never wanted to be tied to who I was before,” she whispered, curling in on herself. “But when you’re hidden away from the rest of the world for most of your life and you’re finally free, it brings a different type of loneliness to a person. I couldn’t escape who I was.”

Envisioning Irina as a child, alone and afraid sent a fiery rage through me. It was hard to imagine her in that way when she was nothing like that person now. “Why were you hidden away?”

“A father’s love can be suffocating.” She turned around until she was facing me, a furrow deepening between her brows. “It’s hard to despise him when all he ever wanted to do was protect me from our world.”

Yet, she’d been hurt either way.

“But I felt so alone, Luca.” The broken tone of her voice chipped away at my soul, and I held her a little closer. “For eighteen years, I had little to no communication with anyone outside of the manor.” As if she needed validation for her own trauma, she added with a tightlaugh, “It was hard to not let it affect me when the few people I talked to were on payroll. Aside from my parents, who were occupied most of the time with business, I was left to my own devices.” A sigh escaped her. “I hadn’t even gotten involved in the Bratva’s business until after I left Russia.”

It was extreme for her father to have done that to her but with being the leader of the Bratva, it seemed that he let his paranoia drive his motives and was too conflicted to see how it affected his daughter.

“Iseeyou.” I cupped her face, caressing her cheek with my thumb. “Ihearyou, sweetheart.”

She grabbed my hand and leaned into it further as if it were her anchor to keep going. “The silence became unbearable, trapping me in my own mind and I didn’t know how to stop myself from spiraling—to even explain how badly I was hurting right here.” She pointed to her heart as her face twisted in agony. “I hid my emotions deep inside the hollowness of my chest where it festered. But then you came into my life.” Her blue eyes searched mine, and I felt myself fall for her further. That’s what happened when Irina set her gaze on me, she utterly consumed me in every way. “And it terrified me that someone could read me so thoroughly without knowing me.”

From the moment I first saw her, I knew she’d be mine. One way or another I would’ve had her.

“At first, I avoided you because I knew you were trouble and my father would disown me if I was involved with an Italian.” She shook her head, and a tear slipped from her eye. “Then I avoided you because I realized Ididn’t want to do that at all. The incessant feeling in my chest wouldn’t go away. And I keep pushing you away-”

I cut her off with a kiss, taking her pain for myself. “The first time I pulled you out of a nightmare,” I started, my heart picking up speed as I recalled that night. “I felt the same helplessness I did when my mother was killed in front of me.Thatwas the moment I realized how desperately I needed you.”

Her blue eyes misted over before she pressed her lips to my jaw, chasing away my demons with each tender kiss.

I gripped her neck, making her face me again. “You could never push me away, Irina. I’m right here. I’llalwaysbe right here with you.”

Chapter 28

Irina

My lips twitched as I stared down at Luca. He was still a heavy sleeper.

I pressed my forehead against his, breathing in his scent as the words I wanted to say vibrated along my tongue.

But if I said them, I wouldn’t be able to let him go.

Nausea burned my throat as I held onto him. This scene felt all too familiar, and it was because of me. Again.

I couldn’t keep hurting the people I care about, most of all him.

“I have to let you go,” I whispered, my heart bleeding for him. “I’m so sorry.”

I clicked the button on the intercom near the gates until a beep sounded. “Tell Roman that Irina needs to speak with him.”

The static went dead, the silence of the night being my only company before the gates slid open.

I took a deep breath and walked toward the house as Roman’s long frame appeared at the front door.

“You’re alone.”

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