Page 5 of Knot All is Forgiven

"Had to be done." The hoppy beer goes down rough, and I fight back a wince at the bitterness. "Irreconcilable differences, ain't that what they call it?"

"In a divorce, yeah, but last I checked, you're not a Beta."

"How'd you check, Nitro? You're not a doctor."

He throws a napkin at my face and chuckles, shaking his head. "Shut it, kid, and tell me why you're really here."

Something about Nitro is easy to talk to. Being in the Hawks, a pretty rough motorcycle club, you'd think he'd be scary and unapproachable. But he's not. He's always been kind to me and quickly told me I had a place in the family if I wanted it while helping me fix up my bike.

I can't hold back the word vomit. I tell him every detail, minus my …unique relationship with Rafe. But I explain how close we were with Jordan, the numerous ways we fucked things up, and how I just couldn't stand to be a pack anymore without her.

"But she won't talk to me." My voice cracks a little, and I cover it with a cough. "I don't call or text her anymore. After three years of being ignored, I couldn't take the outright rejection."

"You complaining about the rejection is bullshit, Simon. You rejected her first."

"I know that. I know." I grab the bowl of potato salad in front of me and scoop a large portion onto my plate, taking a big bite. Not wanting to get smacked again, I swallow the bite completely before talking again. "I just wish it never happened. I don't even know if she's okay."

He pulls a pack of cigarettes out of the pocket on the front of his shirt and taps the pack on the heel of his hand. "You haven't looked her up or anything?"

"I haven't. I've been scared to. What if I find out she's got a pack or a husband or something?"

He holds a cigarette out to me, and I shake my head. The older Beta shrugs and hangs it between his lips as he lights it. "I can get one of the guys to get some information on her. Keep tabs on her. Until you're ready to approach her and make things right."

A lightness swirls through my chest, and I lean forward on my elbows. "Yeah? The club has someone who can do that?"

"C'mon, kid, now you're insulting us. Of course, we can. Let me introduce you to Clicks, he's real good with computers." Hesnags me by the arm, yanks me off the bench, and guides me through the courtyard.

For the first time in three years, I'm feeling a little bit better.

Chapter three

Five years later

If I could goback in time and tell nineteen-year-old Jordan that just eight years later, she'd be working a job she loved, living in Lunarcrest City, and saving enough money to be able to buy a fantastic condo, she'd ask, "How are the guys?"

Shit.

Maybe I don't want to think about past Jordan. She had a one-track mind.

"Woah, this is niiiiice!" Lanie, my coworker and best friend, squeals, pushing past me to run into my new home. "And so big!"

"Yeah, I figured I could grow with it." I toss my keys onto the white marble countertop before looking around the open-concept space. The kitchen is longer than it is wide, with a single pathway between built-in black cabinets and an island. All black appliances butt into the corner that leads down a hallway with a bathroom and two bedrooms off of it.

There is a small nook that will be perfect for a table with two massive windows letting in the evening sun, and it all blends into the living room. The grey tile flooring should be relatively easy to keep clean but needs a throw rug or two.

Lanie is poking her head into the master bedroom, and I wince, praying she doesn't notice -

"An Omega suite?" Her voice carries, and I drag my feet into the room. "Why do you need an Omega suite?"

"We've been over this. I'm an Omega. I'm just waiting to present." My voice is small, and internally, I slap myself for it. I need to own my truth. People have been trying to tell me for eleven years that I am not an Omega.

I wish I could say I don't let it get to me, but it really does.

"I thought that was just drunk talk." Her short blonde bob makes her face look older than her twenty-four years, but so does the expression she's leveling me with. "What's so wrong with being a Beta?"

"Nothing at all! That's just not what I am." I pick at my fingernails, trying to push through this uncomfortable conversation, but it's hard. Sometimes, I wonder if the reasonwhy no one believes me is because I barely believe it myself anymore.

Eventually, Lanie leaves after splitting a bottle of champagne and eating takeout on the floor, and I find myself wandering into the nest with another bottle of bubbly.

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