All I can do is love her through this and support her however I can. Right now, that's through cuddles, attention, and affection.
"Do you think I'm making the right choice?" She asks, apropos of nothing.
It takes my brain a minute to place what she could be referencing. "With the Stargazers?"
"Yeah, should I at least hear them out? I mean," she sighs deeply, crawling into my lap and snagging my gaze with her own, "they're not just my scent matches. They're your pack."
"I'm fine without a pack," I tell her, even though I can taste the half-truth on my tongue.
I would be lying if I said I hadn't always wondered if I would one day find a pack. I figured, at forty, I was well past the age that I would find that bond and was destined to be a solo Alpha. I've always been called strange, never entirely fitting in with other Alphas. I learned not to let it bother me.
I was pretty okay with my lot in life until Jordan's heat.
While it was a wonderful, beautiful, incredibly fucking sexy time, it was also exhausting, physically and mentally. Being the sole source of her attention meant I could not even take a moment to shower unless she was passed out.
And then I met Simon, and despite thinking he's a creepy, skeezy asshole for essentially stalking Jordan, I felt a kinship with him. I don't have anything to compare it to, but I immediately felt like I needed him in my life.
But I can't be selfish. Despite wanting a pack and feeling like I will need heat assistance in the future, I'm not the one who was wronged by these men. Neither of us knows the whole story, their side of things, but I know how it affected my Omega. Nothing will ever change the pain she went through at their hands, which was only compounded by every person and every medical professional in her life until she met me.
If I had realized then, when I was interpreting her genome and going through the results with her, where I'd be now, I would've never let her walk out of my office. I would've locked the doorand kept her with me until she presented, never risking her being scented by one of those Alphas.
Her warm hand caresses my cheek. "Do you mean that?"
And as much as I want to remove myself from the situation altogether, I cannot outright lie to her about this. I have to tell her the truth.
"I always imagined I'd have a pack. I accepted it wasn't going to happen. And while I can see the benefit to having one, the fact that the pack available to us is the Stargazer pack means it is not in the cards for me." I press my forehead against hers and breathe in the soothing scent of chamomile that surrounds her. "I never want you to have someone in your life that caused you so much pain. There is no excuse for it."
"You're pretty wonderful, you know that?" She nuzzles her face into the crook of my neck over her bonding scar. "I'll have to tell your mom she did a good job."
"Speaking of my momma," I say with a groan. "She wants to throw a bonding celebration now that the paperwork is filed."
"Oooh, getting to wear fancy clothes while everyone celebrates our love, and it's shoved in their faces that I actually am an Omega? Sounds like my idea of a party."
"Well, then, I'll tell her to start planning." Jordan gently presses her lips to mine, and I feel the tension drain from my body.
With her in my arms, it's easy to ignore the connections we both have to a certain stupidly named pack.
"Icky!" my little sister,Athena, squeals as she runs across the cafe's parking lot. "Look at you, looking all profesh!"
I gather my sister in my arms and hug her tight to my chest. "That's because I'm working, sis." She chuckles and squeezes me tightly around the hips before pushing me away and skipping off into the shop.
Athena is fifteen years younger than me, but whenever we're together, it's like she's suddenly a preteen again, down to the awful nickname she's saddled me with. As the "pleasant surprise baby," she's always gotten away with murder, and it's widely accepted she's the favorite. When she called and begged me to meet for coffee, I couldn't say no to her.
By the time I get into the cafe, she's already flirting with the barista as she orders us drinks. The barista, a cute Beta woman with bright purple hair and lots of ear piercings, barely looks away from Athena as she writes on the paper cup in her hands.
Eventually, our drinks are made, Athena is one phone number richer, and we settle into a corner table. Athena's dirty blonde hair, an exact shade match to my own, falls down her back in frizzy waves, and her round nose is the spitting image of our mom's. She fiddles with the hem of her black T-shirt as she looks at me carefully.
"What is it?" I ask with a sigh. I can tell she needs something. This is the face she always makes before she says, 'Don't tell mom, but…'
"Don't tell mom, but I wrecked the car."
Athena constantly flits from one career to the next, and her income is not what anyone would call steady. Her car is technically our parents', considering it's in their name, and they pay the monthly payment for it.
"What happened?" I sigh, taking a sip of the chai latte she got me. "When did it happen?"
"It's not entirely my fault!" she insists. "The cat just ran out in the middle of the road, and I must've overcorrected because the next thing I knew, I was staring at a tree trunk." The paper holder around her cup lies shredded on the tabletop as she talks, a pile of trash showcasing just how anxious this situation has made her. "It happened two days ago, and I had it towed to a shop immediately. But the estimate is… well above what I have in my savings account."
My sister does not habitually ask me for money, but this isn't the first time. If I felt like she was taking advantage of me I'd put a stop to it, but she always pays me back eventually. I have more favorable interest terms than the bank or the credit card company.