Page 53 of Knot All is Forgiven

A heavy hand rests on my shoulder, and I flinch away. "Don't touch me!"

"Fuck, Jay, I…"

"Why can't you leave me alone, Cyrus?"

"You didn't respond to my email," he says with a huff. "I had to get your attention. We need to talk, Jordan."

My mouth gapes as I stare at him. The absolute gall of this Alpha to try to tell me what I need to do. His body is wound tight, his arms crossed tightly over his chest as he stares me down. I won't let him intimidate me into submission.

"It wasn't enough for you to break my heart and destroy my life, but you have to come into my place of business to fuck with me?"

"Destroy your life?" he says incredulously. "Broke your heart, sure. But how could I destroy your life?"

"Forget it," I say, pushing to stand and smoothing my dress. "We're done here. We're done forever. I'm not taking Alphamatic on as a client."

"Then I'll find someone else. Everyone wants to work with me. I'll keep showing up here. You can't turn everyone down." He shrugs dismissively, grinning at me like he's got me beat. "You will talk to me, Jordan. We will get past this. You were always meant to be mine. We just need to talk through this."

"Talk through this?" My laugh is a quiet staccato. "There's nothing to talk through with you. I've done my fair share of talking. Thirteen years of it in therapy." His face blanches a bit, but I don't stop there. "You didn't think I got away unscathed, did you? Did you think it was just a little teenage heartache?"

I push the chair I was sitting in underneath the table and gather up the folder that rests on top of it. "No, you're right. Just a little teenage heartache. That's all it was. Teenage heartache isknown to cause inpatient psychiatric treatment, right? After all, questioning your sanity because the one thing in life you were sure of was destroyed is totally normal. Because there was no way I could be an Omega scent matched to the boys I grew up loving if they had an Omega of their own, you know?"

When I turn around and look at the Alpha, his jaw is slack as he stares at me. I feel unhinged, like my tenuous grip on sanity is failing, and there is nothing I can do to retain it.

"Do you know the day I was in the hospital was the day I presented as an Omega? Thirty-two years old, and presenting as an Omega. That has to be some kind of record right? The world's latest presentation? I spent sixteen years being told that I was wrong about my body. From everyone. My parents. My doctors. The boys I loved." My voice cracks embarrassingly at that word, and I lower my voice. "No one believed me. No one. Not even my therapist."

"Jordan, baby, I-"

"I'm not done," I snap as I cut him off. "Do you want to know the only person ever to believe me? A doctor from the Design Clinic. I had an appointment with him the day I presented. Doctor Icarus Valentine." His eyes widen when he hears the last name. "Yeah, my Alpha." My emphasis on the title makes him cringe, his golden skin paling.

"Turns out he's my scent match. His working theory is that being around my scent matched Alpha is what finally drew my Omega out of me." I place a hand on his broad chest, tapping three times.

"Isn't that funny? I had three scent matched Alphas who pushed me away. But all they needed to do was spend time with me, and I would've presented. Late, of course, but not sixteen years late. Probably only three or four." I push past him, wrapping my hand around the doorknob. But before I open it, I glance over my shoulder. "Isn't that funny, Cyrus?"

Chapter twenty-one

"I'm proud of you,sunshine," I tell my Omega, reaching across the table and grabbing her hands. "That was very brave of you, telling him your truth like that."

"It didn't feel brave," she mutters. "It felt shitty." The confrontation with Cyrus Stargazer today has unsettled my Omega. I didn't know what was happening, but I could feel her unease and fury through the bond while I worked.

My mind is still reeling from my research. I had found the same unknown gene Jordan has in other Beta women. What was curious is that it wasn't showing up in any of the Omega genomes we mapped. Now that she's settled into herdesignation, I want to map Jordan's again and see how it compares.

And then her feelings hit me like a ton of bricks, to the point where I had to set the research aside and breathe through it. It's strange, getting used to feeling her emotions alongside my own.

"Did you reach out to Dr. K?" I feel weird asking her about her therapist, but part of my responsibility as her Alpha is to keep her safe and healthy. And her therapist is a necessary tool in that arsenal.

She takes a sip of tea after blowing over the top. It takes her a minute to answer me, and I can tell she's reluctant. "I did. I've got an appointment tomorrow."

"How can I best support you?"

She looks so fragile, curled up in that chair, wearing the massive navy sweater I got her and hugging her knees. But she's strong. I can see it in how she grips the mug between her hands and the rigid set of her jaw before she speaks. "Just being you, Vick. I just need you."

"You've got me," I say as I push to my feet and scoop her up. I gently carry her to the couch, flopping down and settling us together into a cuddle pile. "You've always got me."

We watch an episode of television, some fantasy epic with dragons and people making dumb decisions that lead to the deaths of the people they love in each others' arms. It's easy, our relationship. We sync together so well that it's hard to imagine a time when Jordan wasn't in my life.

I do worry about her, though. I know this situation with Pack Stargazer is weighing on her. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for her to finally get what she always knew was hers and no longer want it.

Or, rather, feel like you're not supposed to want it.

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