Page 3 of Filthy

“Yes, I did. Thank you again. I really don’t know what I would have done in the city without mom.” Tears sprung to my eyes quicker than I could wipe them away and before I knew it I was being pulled into the elderly woman’s embrace as she ran her hands down my back in a soothing motion that I missed more than anything else in this world.

“It’s okay, my love, there, there. No need to cry. She’s doing just fine, you know that.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s come over me today.”

“It’s just a lot being back here, I’m sure. I know for Nicholas that big city of yours is a great way to forget about all of us back here. Not that you do that, of course, but it’s different when there is a space between your old life and your new one. Come sit down. I’ll make some cocoa and we can catch up.”

I sat at the counter and listened while she chattered on about people I hadn’t thought of in years. Maybe she was right. The physical distance made things easier. Being back here in this town that was full of so many memories was harder than it had ever been. At least when mom still had the house I would be there with her, but when she moved we needed to sell it to pay for her medical care. Now I was sitting at the kitchen counter at my high school ex-boyfriend’s house and wondering why my life had turned out this way when his was going so well.

“Fuck off.” Charlie’s voice traveled into the kitchen and I didn’t even need to turn to know who he was talking about. I felt Nix the second he came down the stairs, and his presence only grew stronger when he stepped into the kitchen.

“Ma, I’m going to take the van into town. Do you need anything?”

“No, I’m good, but why don’t you take Hattie with you? I’m sure she’d like to see her mom before dinner tonight.”

“I’m sure Rashid can give her a ride. I have a few stops to make.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. If you’re already leaving, then it makes sense for you to take her.”

I wanted the ground to swallow me whole when he turned his gaze on me. “How did you get here, anyway?”

“I took an Uber from the airport. I can take one to see my mom. It’s no big deal.”

“See, problem solved.” He said, leaning down and placing a kiss on the top of Mrs. Stratford’s head.

“You will not.” She said, turning her gaze towards me, “Nix, why are you being so rude?”

“I’m not—“

“Really, Mrs. Stratford, it’s fine.”

“Go get your coat on. He’s taking you.” She said in the same voice we would hear as kids after running off and getting ourselves into trouble.

I sat through the most uncomfortable ride into town in complete silence. Nix didn’t say a word to me, just pulled up in front of the nursing home and stared ahead as I got out of his mother’s car. Seeing her was great, but afterwards I had no idea how I was supposed to get home. I headed back outside, pulling my phone out of my pocket to call for an Uber. We were small-town people, but there had to be a driver somewhere. I stepped out into the frigid cold and jumped when I heard a horn beep. Looking up, I realized my mistake. I had just about stepped in front of a car that was pulling under the overhang and the only thing that stopped me was the loud horn that came from across the street. I stood there like a deer in headlights as the man driving the car started yelling at me out the window to move. But I couldn’t. Iwas completely paralyzed at that moment, and the only thing I could see was Nix running across the road in my direction.

He pulled me into his chest and yelled for the guy in the car to go around us as my body shook at the shock of everything that had just happened.

“Hattie, hey, look at me… you’re okay. I’ve got you.” he said as he moved his hands up my body and cupped my face, staring down at me. “You’re okay.”

I nodded my head, “I’m okay.”

“Come on, let’s get out of the cold.”

With his arm around me, I let him guide me to the car and help me into the passenger’s seat. He leaned in and buckled my seatbelt, and by the time he made it back around to the driver’s seat, I felt like I could finally take a deep breath and not fall apart. He started the car, then looked over in my direction. I couldn’t pull my eyes away from him, but that wasn’t anything new. Nothing I felt around Nix was new. It was all old memories, childhood dreams, and heartbreak.

“What are you doing here?” I finally choked out.

“I was waiting to pick you up.”

“But you just left. I didn’t think you were coming back. That’s why I was on my phone. I was going to get an Uber to come get me.”

He sat there staring at me. The silence between us was painful. “Of course I was coming back for you Hattie, I always do.”

I watched as he put the car in gear and pulled out of the parking space. The beeping horn had been him. If he wasn’t sitting out there waiting for me, then who knows what would have happened. It’s not like the car was going very fast, but still a shiver ran through me at the thought of me getting hurt, leaving my mother with no one. I watched as we drove down familiar streets and passed houses we had played in with friends as kids. Businesses had closed, and some had reopened as somethingnew, but there was one place that was still standing and looked just as it had when we went there for our first drink at twenty-one.

“What are we doing here?”

“I could use a drink, and I think you could too.”

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