Page 61 of The Hockey Grump Saves Christmas

“That might be taking it a bit far. I mean, the only reason he got involved in the first place was because I kind of forced him into it. But he showed up of his own free will last night. I hadn’t even asked him to. That was all him. So, maybe.” Gah, I’m overexplaining. But yeah, come to think about it, maybe voluntarily turning up was a generous thing to do.

“Very thoughtful.” She stabs a chunk of cabbage. “Did you go back to his house?”

“What? No. No, of course I didn’t go back to his house. Why would I go back to his house? No.” Now I’m overprotesting.

Would I have gone back to his house if he’d asked?

“Right.” Her chair creaks as she shifts in it.

“Not that it’s not a nice house. His decorators have taken some of the warmth and family coziness out of it. But it does look quite stylish.” Why am I still talking?

“Yes, and lucky it has guest rooms. For that first night, I mean. When you were stuck there, what with your ankle and the fallen tree and what have you.”

I make a vaguely noncommittal sound and shove my mouth so full of shepherd’s pie it’s impossible to answer.

“Mustard would be nice with this.” She pushes her chair back. “I’m going to get some mustard. Would you like some mustard?”

“No, thanks. Anyway,” I say, fighting my way through the huge mouthful while also tryingto steer my mind away from sex with Gabe and shift the conversation to a different topic. “This afternoon, I met the person replacing me.”

Aunt Lou bustles by me toward the kitchen.

“And how did that go?” The fridge door opens and closes.

“She’s, um, let’s say, something of a character.”

“Hah.” Aunt Lou retakes her seat opposite me and plonks the mustard on the table with athunk. “I bumped into Victor at the clinic this morning. He babbled on so much about how amazing she is that I knew she must be horrendous.”

I put my fork down and lean toward her. “Oh, God. You wouldn’t believe it. Truly, truly awful. She’s all wrong for the kids. They’ll end up so unhappy. I don’t know what the arts committee was thinking.”

“Victor seems somewhat taken with her.” She raises her eyebrows as she pops the lid off the mustard.

“More like takeninby her,” I reply. “She kept name-dropping. I would have been embarrassed for her if she hadn’t been so awful.”

“Then maybe you should tell them?”

“Tell who what?”

“Your bosses. Victor and the rest of the committee. Tell them they’ve made a mistake. That she’s going to ruin the program that all the kids and their parents love. The program you’ve spent years creating and nurturing.”

“They won’t care what I think. I already quit, remember?”

Yup, moving on to bigger and better things in a bigger and better place. So why is there not one ounce of excitement about that in me? I should have been skippingaround with joy these last two months since I was offered the job in New Orleans.

Time to get out, I told myself. Time to move on up. Time to prove I can be like my parents, traveling everywhere, seeing new sights, experiencing new things, meeting new people. And like Todd, my ex, moving to Alaska to work on a new ecology research project.

But I thank my lucky stars every day that I decided not to go with him. At the time I thought I might have been making a mistake, walking away from the man I thought I’d probably marry and have kids with.

But now I’m certain I made the right decision. Our relationship was fine. Totally fine. And it would probably have been fine for the rest of our lives.

But he never made me tingle all over the way Gabe does.

My belly never did somersaults when he looked at me, not even when we were first together, not the way it does when Gabe’s eyes meet mine.

And the orgasms Todd gave me were moreoh, that was nicethan theohmyfuckinggodyesyesyesImightpassoutGabe brought me to. And that was only our first one. Lord knows how much better we might get with practice.

Realistically, though, how much more practice will we get?

But haven’t I told myself this could be just a fun, spirit-lifting, orgasm-screaming experience before I start my new life? Something like that is so outside of my usual behavior it’s like that decision was made by a whole different person. But isn’t that the different person I’m trying to become? One who has exciting adventures?

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