Page 58 of The Hockey Grump Saves Christmas

“Fine,” she says. Though her tone would suggest that she’s much closer to furious than fine. “It reminds me of the time I worked with Laurence Olivier. Dear, dear Larry. You know he?—”

“Let me help you up,” Victor says.

This is so bad for the kids. Terrible. This woman is not what they need. They need someone who brings them joy and light and fun and exploration. Not someone who waxes poetic about fantastical encounters with old thespians.

Despite my horror at what’s about to be inflicted on them, I still have to cough to hide the uncontrollable laughter that bursts from me as Victor fumbles around trying to haul her out of the hole. No matter how ashamed I am of this uncharacteristic lack of sympathy, I can’t stop it from rising to the surface. And if I thought there was a chance that she’d hurt anything more than her pride, I’d be over there in a flash to help.

But I’m certain she hasn’t, so I hide myface behind the box of costumes as I carry it across the auditorium and toward the back door.

I can’t wait to tell Gabe. He would loathe her.

ME

Are you up for helping with the new script run-through after school tomorrow?

Too wordy. Too much of a question.

Delete.

ME

Next rehearsal is after school tomorrow. See you there.

Too presumptuous. And possibly a bit bossy.

Delete.

ME

Thanks for everything last night. Are you avail

Fuck no.

Delete.

ME

Thanks for last night.

Delete.

ME

Thanks for helping last night. Free to help more tomorrow?

Jesus. Thatsounds like I want help with orgasms.

And maybe I do. But I certainly don’t want him to think that’s what I want.

De-fucking-lete.

I drop the phone into my lap and stare out the salt-splattered window of my Jeep at the back of the theater.

Why is it so hard to write one goddamn sentence?

The man’s already agreed to help.

And he insisted I give him my number and texted me his. The accompanying message was a noncommittal “Gabe’s number.” But he sent it before the door had even closed behind him. So that must mean he wants to hear from me, right?

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