Page 107 of The Hockey Grump Saves Christmas

And the spike shoots out of the frozen earth, the sudden release propelling me backward.

And I lie there in the snow, winded.

The second time I’ve landed flat on my back on this front lawn.

But this time I’m not gazing up at Gabe’s beautiful face.

This time I’m looking up at a cloud that’s just drifted across the sky, an elf lawn ornament in my hands. A goodbye letter from him in my pocket. An ache burning inside my bruised heart. And the winter air chilling my damp cheeks.

A single snowflake drifts down and lands perfectly on the end of my nose.

Then, suddenly there are more. Floating onto my face, tickling my skin, melting into my tears.

CHAPTER 34

GABE

Fuck, this has been a long and exhausting day.

I toss my keys into the bowl on the table in the entryway of my Manhattan penthouse as the elevator doors slide closed behind me and kick off my shoes without untying the laces.

Despite it being Saturday, the murderous traffic on the drive down from Warm Springs this morning left me only enough time to drop off my bags and get changed into workout gear before heading straight back out to meet Jamal at the team gym.

Even though the day’s been hectic, I haven’t been able to stop wondering if Natalie has found my letter yet.

I climb the spiral stairs to my bedroom and bathroom, checking my phone for the three hundredth time to see if she’s sent me a furious/hurt/abusive message.

Still nothing.

I could text her of course, but what would I say?Hey!Have you found the note saying you’re amazing but I left anyway and we’re never going to see each other again?

So either…

She’s been to the house, the letter’s blown away, and she thinks I’m an asshole who’s disappeared into the night without a word.

She’s been to the house, found the letter, and thinks I’m an asshole.

She hasn’t been to the house—probably because she thinks I’m an asshole.

I cross the bedroom to the huge wall of windows and their view of skyscrapers against the dark sky. The city lights make it almost impossible to see the stars—the exact opposite of Fool’s Hill.

Now that I’m not racing through traffic or being put through my paces by Jamal and finally have a moment of peace to think, I’m wavering like hell as to whether I did the right thing.

My head might be certain that walking away from Natalie was the correct decision, but the nauseating black hole where my internal organs used to be is in violent disagreement.

But I can’t undo the note. It’s done.

I pull my shirt off over my head, drop my shorts and underwear, and yank off my socks as I make my way to the bathroom. Time for a shower to wash everything away.

If I hadn’t been completely starving I’d never have been able to swallow a single mouthful of this Chinese food, never mind demolish it.

The tightness in my throat and chest from worrying about Natalie’s reaction is getting worse.

And all I’ve been able to think about while watchingThe Science of Squid—which under normal circumstances would have been utterly absorbing—is how much of a cowardly jackass she must think I am.

She would never just run out on someone and leave them a note. She treats people well and completely non-dickishly.

My dickish score right now is pretty fucking high.

---