Page 107 of That Reunited Feeling

“Good for him to have a punishment that’s a week off school learning to play an instrument he wants to learn? A week hanging out with someone he really likes and wants to hang out with?”

“He likes me?”

Tom looks like something warm has touched his heart, and the wall I successfully built around myself just seconds ago crumbles a little at the edges.

“Of course he does.” I wrap my sweater tighter around my chest and fold my arms over it, shoring up the wall a little bit. “But that’s no good, is it?”

Tom pushes his hands through his hair and holds it in a bunch at the back of his head, his elbows sticking out. “It was good for me when someone I liked taught me guitar. I told you, it refocused all my troublemaking energy.”

He simply doesn’t get it. “And I toldyou, it’s no good for Dylan to get close to you, fond of you, when you live on the other side of the Atlantic and will be going home soon.”

He drops his hair, and it falls back around his face as he gets to his feet and walks toward me. Reaching for me, his eyes pleading with me to not be like this.

The circles under his eyes are darker again now, the creases around them deeper. A muscle at the side of his jaw flexes as he clamps it shut.

I take a step back, leaving his outstretched arm hanging and his brow knitted.

“Are you sure this is Dylan you’re talking about?” His lips move the minimum amount necessary to get out the words.

“Of course it is. I’m a grown-up.” I point at my chest. “I’ve had to be one for a very long time. I can deal with the consequences of my own foolish actions. Him, I have to protect.”

Tom shoves his hands into his pockets. “And you think this has all been foolish? You think last night was foolish?” His eyes meet mine—they’re hurt and hard at the same time. “Because it sure as hell didn’t feel foolish to me. To me, it felt like the greatest thing that has ever happened.”

My heart hurts. Actually hurts. Throbs from the pain of knowing that we are probably meant to be together, but circumstances and timing beat us the first go around, and they’re beating us again now.

I have only so much willpower. If I stick around here, I’m done for. The only way I’m going to be able to resist him is if I put as much distance between us as possible.

“I’m going to California.” The words blurt out in a rush, almost strung together.

“I know.” His voice is soft now. “But we still have some time. Maybe we can figure?—”

“Tomorrow.” The tremble in my voice is obvious.

“Tomorrow?”

I tear my eyes away from his shocked face and gaze at the darkness outside the windows instead. “Well, maybe not exactly tomorrow.” I cough to try to clear the tightness in my throat. “But as soon as I can get us packed up and on a plane.”

Just the thought of walking away from Tom makes me want to sob and pound the walls in frustration. But I have to keep it together. I have to fight the hot prickles in my eyes and the tearing in my chest.

“I thought the house wasn’t ready?” A hint of desperation is in his words.

“It’ll be ready in a week. And with what you’re paying me, I can put us up in a hotel for a few days till then.” I sniff,determined to keep it all in. “It’s time to move on. Start a new life. Give Dylan the best chance he can have.”

“Wow.” Tom turns around and heads back toward the sofa and fireplace. “I really was just your Bridge Man. Huh.”

“We were never going to be anything more.” Someone’s trying to force a bag of pebbles down my constricted throat. “We knew we were only ever going to be here in the same place for such a short time before you head three thousand miles in one direction and I head three thousand miles in the other.”

He turns back to face me. “But when something happens like this, Hannah. Something like…this…” He says “this” like what we have is so special there’s no actual word for it. “You can’t just ignore it.”

He spreads his arms, indicating the enormity of it. And all I want to do is fling myself into them. But it doesn’t matter how special something is if you live on opposite sides of the planet, if your lives are in no way alike, if you exist in different worlds.

“I can’t do this, Tom. Look at what’s happened because I did. Dylan’s in trouble. For his sake, I can’t lose myself to you.”

“Good God, Hannah. I’m not asking you to lose yourself. I’m asking you tobeyourself. Be everything you always could have been. Be everything you can still be. You can be an amazing motherandall of that.”

“The last few days clearly proved otherwise.” My eyes are so full they’re in danger of spilling over. I can’t let him see that. “Until we leave, please make it easier and stay out of our way.” I cross my arms again and dig my nails into my biceps. “I’ll come to this part of the house only to clean. And I’ll finish up that bit of work I still have to do for you tomorrow. I’ll email you when it’s done.”

I only have seconds before these tears overflow. Come on, Hannah. Don’t fucking lose it now. Don’t cry. “Other than that, Dylan and I will stay in our part of the house.”

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