Page 47 of Two Guys, a Girl, and a Tripod

The question surprises me. I keep forgetting Brody’s not used to this. He’s been on maybe five dates in his life, including high school. I doubt anything happened in college, given that he graduated a year early. I’m sure he always had his nose in his books or his eyes on the computer screen.

“I, er, I’d probably do some kind of activity. Not just watch a game, but I don’t know, that wine and painting thing we did one time?”

I wave my hand toward the two nearly identical paintings hanging on the wall by the front door. For his birthday three years ago, I gathered a few of our friends and we rented out the whole studio for a class. None of the paintings turned out well, but we display ours with pride anyway.

“That’s not a bad idea,” Brody says with a nod. I can see the confidence coming back, at least.

“Then do that. Done.”

“Oh sure, easy!” Brody rolls his eyes. “What if-”

“Brody, shut up. Just call her.” I stand from the couch. It might be too early to start dinner, but I have to do something to stay busy.

“What if she expects-”

“Most women don’t want to have to say no to going home with you on the first few dates,” I say, answering the question I know he has in his head. “I promise she’ll be relieved that you’re not moving too fast.”

“But when-”

“Brody,” I cut him off, turning to face the couch. He is twisted around to watch me. “I will absolutely help you when the time comes, but there’s no use panicking about it now, ok?”

No use asking me how to broach the subject of never having had a woman in his bed when I know damn well this is going to end up the same way.

“Look, if youreallythink you’ll take that step, be prepared.” I sigh when Brody just stares. “Go get tested. I have condoms if you want them.” I shrug.

“Tested?”

“Bro.”

“No, I just mean, is there- Do I just ask my doctor?”

Jesus, I hate the American education system. It would benefit everyone if schools just taughtactualsafe sex instead of abstinence.

“I’ll send you a link to the clinic I go to. You’ll be all set.” I pull my phone out to type out the info. “You can usually get results within a day or two. Go tomorrow morning if you can.”

I press send and Brody’s phone vibrates on the couch. I almost want to celebrate this moment. He’s never asked me about STI testing before. He must think this woman is worth it.

“You gonna tell me how your shoot went?” Brody asks after a beat.

He knows I filmed with someone for the first time. He also has a vague idea of just how obsessed I was with Honey before I even reached out to her. I wouldn’t shut up about her, though I haven’t shown him her content. I guess I want to keep her to myself.

“I’m in trouble. She’s fucking perfect.” I throw my head back with a groan. When I don’t elaborate, Brody remains silent, staring me down when I drop my head. I may beable to readhismind, but it means he can do the same with me. It’s annoying. “I’d ask her out if we’d met under, you know,normalcircumstances.”

“I thought all you did was fuck them and dip.” He doesn’t mean it as an insult. It’s a simplified explanation of the process and not incorrect. “How is she perfect?”

“She’s funny and charming and her touch just-” I shake my head, not sure how to continue. “It sends electricity through me. I’m talking major sparks.”

“Are you writing a romance novel?” Brody laughs.

“Brod, I’m serious. I wanted tocuddleafterward. Cuddle. Me.”

“Lance Kixxx doesn’t do cuddles.”

“Exactly!” I shout, throwing up my arms in frustration. “And neither does Miles Corning.”

“I mean, if she’sperfectlike you said, what’s the harm in asking her for a drink? Getting to know her? Maybe you’ll find out you don’t like her after all. Maybe she’s the worst person alive.”

“She’s not Donald Trump.”

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