Page 22 of All Saints: Pledge

There’s a knock at my door, and I pull it open. Clara stands there, regal in a black sheath dress. My own more colorful dress now seems overdone. I sigh.

“Are you ready to go?” She checks her watch.

“Almost.” I dab a little more mascara on, and run my hands through my best attempt at the sleek hair Li gave me last Friday. I give myself a B+. I shoulder my purse and lock my door behind me. “Let’s go see what fresh bullshit they’re going to hit us with.”

Clara frowns. “Aren’t you excited? We get another term here. And themoney. This isgreat.”

I shoot her a look. Clearly, she hasn’t been sitting with her conscience like I have. “Don’t you think the idea of these tests is…unethical? Questionable at the very least?”

Her judgmental gaze rakes mine as we cross the street, headed for All Souls Cathedral. “Idid nothing unethical formyfirst test.”

Heat tips my ears, and I go on the defensive. “I didn’tdoanything unethical either.” I leave out the part where I made out—hated out?—with her ex-boyfriend. “But the very idea of having secret tests. I’m just saying it’s shady.”

She studies me. It’s like sheknowswhat Kendall and I did. I clear my throat. “Plus, um, I think maybe Kendall gave me something so he could ask me personal questions. Like some sort of drug. Wasn’t that your test?”

Her gaze turns guarded, and maybe a little guilty, before she looks straight ahead. “Yes.”

“Okay, well,druggingpeople just to get them to talk to you seems shady. Are you okay with being rufied?”

She sniffs. “Kendall didn’t need todrug me. I answered willingly.”

I. Bet. She. Did. I roll my eyes and shake my head. “He probably needed a way to confirm our truthfulness, especially for those who haven’t been in a relationship with him before. He drugged me, Clara. With a drink. As a test for our scholarship. You saw me in the garden, that wasn’t just drunk.”

She presses her lips together. “Okay, yeah, fine. This whole thing is weird.”

We push through the large arched door in the stone wall, marking the entrance to the All Souls quad. Above us, spires of the church rise and the faint sounds of choir music greet my ears.

I take a deep breath, something inside of me quieting as the faint music washes over me. “I love it here,” I say as we approach the chapel. Clara is silent, so I look over at her. “At Oxford. Do you?”

She shrugs. “This isn’t exactly what I had pictured for my first year of college. It’s the biggest thing I’ve ever done. My parents were shocked. I’m the baby of the family, and never make big decisions. Everyone expected me to get married right out of school, or maybe get an boring degree, but I’ve just never been ambitious or brave before this. I like Oxford but…”

“But you thought you and Kendall would be back together if you came here.” I have a pang of guilt, thinking about how I made out with Kendall, even though she and I aren’t close, and I never plan on repeating it. Her admission goes along with everything I gleaned about her. Pretty. Polite. Wholesome but not frumpy. Intelligent but not brainy. On paper, the quintessential Prom Queen. Respectable family. Probably voted Most Likely To End Up Arm Candy to a Celebrity or a Miss America finalist.

We pause outside the chapel door. And she sighs and nods. “It just felt like it made sense. Like it was the logical next step. I’msostupid. When he broke up with me, he said it was becauselong distance didn’t work. I thought he’d see distance wasn’t an issue now and things would go back to how they were.” She presses her lips for a moment, and then snaps her eyes up to meet mine. “But now that I’m here, I just can’t shake the feeling thatthisis the reason he never could commit. That he’s been so sure all the way through high school that we wouldn’t date in college, he planned for it, and just didn’t tell me.” She’s quiet a moment and then swipes at her eye. “I guess now I feel like I was a placeholder for him, but totally oblivious about it. I was stupid in thinking he wanted to make it work. I thought he really loved me.”

“I think he cared about you. But it makes sense. He knew he would go to Oxford, which would break you up, so he wasn’t fully in it.” It makes sense, but it seems a weird thing to skip telling your long-time, serious girlfriend.

She frowns. “It’s more than that. He seems angry about me being here. But more angry on my behalf, instead of angry that I’m crashing his freshman year. Yes. He does still seems to careabout me, which makes it all reallyconfusing.” She runs her hands over her perfectly smooth hair. “Sorry. I don’t make any sense.”

My mind flashes back to Kendall’s words while he “questioned” me. He’s pissed I’m here too. Butwhy?

“It’s not just you, there are a lot of things that don’t make sense,” I mutter as we push open the door of the chapel.

“Augustine told me just to be patient, and that Kendall will come around, but I’m not so sure.”

I pause. “Wait. You talked to Kendall’s dad about this?”

Before she can respond, the door opens of its own accord, revealing the Prince o’ Darkness himself, Kendall. “Through there,” he says tersely, pointing at a dark wooden door.

I wonder if he heard us talking about him. Maybe it’s just my eyes adjusting to the light, but Clara pales. I’m not prepared forwhat seeing him again does to me. My stomach takes a quick trip to my heels and back up to my throat. Blood pounds in my ears.

Clara starts to say something. “I?—”

“Thanks,” I say, grabbing her arm and hauling her through the door. I hiss in her ear as I drag her down the dark stone hallway. “Donotshow your jugular to that creature. Who cares if he heard us talking? We’re allowed.” I don’t tell her that, mostly? I want to get away from his violent electric charge. It messes with my body on a visceral level.

Our path—the hallway Kendall pointed us down—winds around until I gather from the sounds that we’re beside the main choir chamber. The hallway ends in a closed wooden door, so I knock.

We’re admitted by none other than Kendall’s father. “Ah, Helena. Clara. Come in.” I don’t like the way he looks at us. It’s a smug appraisal. Like he’s won some contest by having us attend the meeting.

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