Page 23 of From the Moment We Met

Lilly’s stomach turned at the thought of Jacob having sex with countless, faceless women. “Something like that,” she muttered.

“You’re an amazing catch. It’s about time you put yourself back in the game. There’s no shortage of men who want to date you. Why do you refuse to go out with any of them?”

“Are we really going to discuss this now?”

“Yes, because you are letting two gorgeous men slide by the wayside. Don’t you know that’s Adonis abuse?”

Lilly choked on her wine. “Why don’t you date them?”

“Spill it. Why are you so unwilling to date?”

Lilly sighed as she popped bubbles with her fingers. “I dated a musician for five years, thought we were going to get married, have babies, the whole white picket fence scenario. His band was gaining notoriety, so I supported us. I worked two jobs and put my dreams on hold…I thought it would be a temporary hold. He was brilliant, and he knew it, and so did his adoring fans.” She took another swig of wine, steeling herself to continue. “I came home to his empty closets and a note. He claimed he needed to focus on his work and I was a distraction.”

“Bastard,” Sabina breathed.

“But that wasn’t the truth. He had taken up with a PR rep at Sony Music. She could advance his career, so I guess she was the right kind of distraction.” Lilly finished her wine. “Apparently, everyone associated with the band knew they were having an affair. Everyone but me. I was blindsided. It was utter humiliation.”

“When did this happen? You never talk about it.”

“It was a year ago. I walked around in a kind of daze for the first nine months, so angry at myself for believing in him, letting someone get that close. The worst part? I loved him but not in some earth-shattering manner; I figured it was a good, solid relationship and fireworks were meant for romance novels. I gave up five years and my chance to have a family…did I mention they had a baby girl last year?” Lilly chewed her lip, willing the memory back to the recesses of her mind.

“And there’s been no one since then?”

“No, although I have to admit I still look for fireworks.” Lilly rubbed her throbbing head. “I’m terrified to let anyone that close again, especially someone whose work is their life. I would always wind up second best or dumped when someone better came along.”

Sabina sighed into the phone. “Luv, not everyone is like that wanker. There are good men out there. Hell, at least go out and get laid.”

Lilly giggled. “And just like that, it comes back round to sex.”

“Doesn’t everything?”

“I’m not looking for sex, that’s why God made vibrators. I’m looking for a love that sinks its claws into your soul and won’t let go. A feeling so strong you couldn’t fight it if you tried.”

Sabina scoffed. “Is that all?”

“Go big or go home.”

“So, if you find fireworks, all celibate bets are off?”

Lilly hesitated, recalling the fireworks display when she and Jacob kissed. “I’ll let you know when I feel them. But until then, are we done dredging up my past?”

“Sure, for now at least. It’s late, get some rest. You’ll be at work tomorrow?”

Lilly sighed as she heaved herself out of the tub and grabbed a nearby towel. “I’m teaching a class in the morning, so I’ll be there, besides, I want to check on Janie and make certain she’s doing okay. I promised her family. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Absolutely. Here’s to some spicy hot dreams involving one of two gorgeous men; both of whom are besotted with you.” Sabina hung up the phone before Lilly could reply.

What nonsense, Lilly surmised, padding into her kitchen. Her tabby cats still weren’t speaking to her after their delayed dinner, so she opened another can of cat food in an effort to bribe their good will.

As she slid under her covers, Lilly willed her mind to think of anything but Jacob Edmonton, but her final thought before sleep took hold was how it felt to be held in his arms.

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