Page 93 of Dark Truths

“I know that,” Jacob defends, having heard this before from me when it first happened. “Ford does too. But that doesn’t make him any less angry about it all. He’s not happy with this entire mission.”

“If he has a problem with the way things are going down here, he’s welcome to come down here and tell me himself,” I snap, feeling a tinge of guilt afterward when Jacob flinches as if I’m directing my words to him. “Sorry, Jacob. I’m just tired.”

“Has something else happened?”

I find myself at a crossroads, and it feels as though there’s no safe path to choose. Jacob has always been a good friend, and it seems wrong to keep such a significant moment in my life a secret from him. Yet, deep down, I know he wouldn’t understand. We were both trained to believe that crime is black and white, but since going undercover and learning about the politics of it all, I find it’s more shades of gray. And the scary partis…I like it. I’ve become more of myself since entering this world. I tried to fight it, tried to convince myself that what I was feeling was just a side effect of playing this role, and then I met Gabriella and her existence in my life only solidified the truth. I belong in this world.

“Dimitri.” Jacob eyes me, and I silently curse our identical training. He can tell when someone’s keeping something hidden. Just like I can. “What’s going on?”

Avoiding my old friend’s eyes, I stare at my coffee while I gather my thoughts. Since I’m not ready to share about Gabriella, I can at least share Sergei and my growing concerns. “It’s Sergei. He’s become more paranoid ever since Igor’s death.”

“Is he suspicious of you?”

I shake my head. “No, that’s not it. I think there’s something more he’s hiding.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“Are you sure everything’s okay?”

I stand and toss my drink in the trash, keeping my back turned to Jacob until I have better control over my face and emotions. When I do, I look at my long-time friend and have never felt more far away from him. “I’ll be in touch again when I have something more.”

35

Dimitri

February

It’s funny how when you’re not looking for something, you easily stumble upon it. But when you’re actively looking for something, it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack. In the dark. With sunglasses on. It’s nearly impossible.

Nearly.

Because when you know where to look in that haystack, all you need is a magnet and some time.But I need to be careful not to draw attention to myself as I search for whatever it is Sergei hides.And it hasn’t been easy. I haven’t touched my sweet angel’s soft skin in days. The only time I see her face is on the phone screen late at night or early in the morning. She’s in her last semester at school and just as busy as ever. But now andthen, we get to spend a moment of peace together. Just the other day, I snuck in and woke her up by being between her legs. A favorite for us both.

Since becoming pregnant, Gabriella’s hormones are as erratic as her emotions are. One minute she wants sex the moment she sees me, and the next she’s crying because she thinks she’s getting fat. Something that is entirely untrue. Yes, there is a small bump, almost like she's indulged too much in a big lunch, but I find the sight of it endearing. For a couple of weeks, Gabriella battled with the fear that she wasn’t even pregnant because her body looked the same. Now that her belly is bulging, her fear has shifted to a constant worry that something will happen to the twins.

I do what I can to ease her mind, but I’m also battling against those damn pregnancy hormones of hers. One moment, she’s bubbling with excitement, brainstorming nursery ideas, and the next, she’s diving into searches for infant coffins and choosing flowers for funerals. Yes. She’s being that extreme.

She has an appointment tomorrow for a routine checkup where we hopefully find out the genders of the twins. I’d like to wait until the birth and keep it a surprise, but as always, what my angel wants, she gets.

A knock echoes through my office.

“Come in.”

Alexei pops his head in with a frown instead of his usual sarcastic smirk.

I wave him in. “What is it?”

“Have you seen Ana lately?”

“No.” Nor do I have any desire to. I haven’t indulged in her for nearly a year. She tried, but after sending her away a half dozen times, she finally got the hint and stayed away, seeking her pleasure elsewhere.

“Yeah, me either.” His frown deepens.

“Why are you looking for her? What about Sophia?”

The last I heard, they were sneaking around together, defying Sergei’s wishes and orders. Because to him, Sophia and I are still engaged to be married. But that'll be hard to do since Dimitri Volkov doesn’t exist and the real man, Dimitri Clark, is already married.

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