Page 30 of Dark Truths

“No more than me.”

“Was it necessary?” she continues.

I wish she would look at me, but I doubt I can meet them even if she did.

“Yes.”

“Would someone have died if you didn’t?”

“Yes.”Me.

Gabriella finally raises her eyes and where I expect to see anger and disgust, I only see understanding and compassion. “Then you did what you had to do. You had to weigh the odds and make a difficult decision. No one can blame you for doing that when the good outweighed the bad. The one to save the many, right?”

I snort softly. She enjoys her movies way too much. If only she knew the many was just as corrupt and bad as the one.

“Do you regret it?”

“No.” It’s an honest answer, which only makes me feel guilty for feeling that way. At the Academy, we’re taught that to take lives is sometimes necessary, but it’s still a difficult thing to do, to accept, and move on from. Since being in the Bratva, I’ve taken more lives than I can count. Mostly in gunfights but executions like tonight are a rare thing because usually Alexei or another captain handles the “clean-up” and I justify those deaths as sight unseen. “Does that make me a horrible man?”

Gabriella shifts closer, tangling her legs with mine. “No. It means you did the right thing. That there was no other choice. In school, we’re taught that sometimes death is necessary and kind. That to fight for a different outcome is almost cruel when the outcome is worse than death.”

“What could be worse than death?”

“Being trapped in your mind. Being unable to walk or speak. Yeah, you’re alive, but you’re not able to move on. You’re not the same person you were before. Death is a welcomed relief sometimes.”

I capture her lips, softly kissing her, my tongue slowly caressing hers into a sensual dance. She moves closer and I roll onto my back, bringing her to rest between my arm and chest. She props her face up and I can feel her concerned eyes on me.

“What do you need, Dimitri?”

Out.

Out of this life.

Out of my mind and the demons that love to torment me.

Just…out.

Free.

Free from it all.

I lower my gaze to meet hers.

I need her.

With her, I feel all of those things.

She calms my demons. She silences the noise. She eases the chaos.

“I just need you,” I tell her in a whisper.

“You have me.” Gabriella reaches up and cups my cheek before she pushes forward to kiss me firmly, like she’s trying to tattoo her words on my lips. But there’s no need for that. She’s already tattooed on my dark and tattered heart.

13

Gabriella

June

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