Page 38 of Dark Truths

Love.

Part 2

The Middle

16

Dimitri

November

My phone buzzes with a message, but I don’t care to check it. Why bother? It’s not from her. It’s never from her. It hasn’t been for four months and twenty-eight days…but who’s counting?

“Another full house tonight, boss,” Alexei announces as he walks into my office. “I’ve got your suit and mask here.”

I glance at the bag before refocusing on the invoices and account statements in front of me on the desk. “I won’t be attending.”

Alexei freezes for a brief second at the clothes rack before he spins around. “What? What do you mean you won’t be attending?”

“As in, I will not be there,” I explain as if I’m speaking to a child who needs layman’s terms.

“You’re joking. Right?”

I set my pen down and give my second my undivided attention. “When do you know me to joke?”

Alexei shrugs. “You joke occasionally.”

“I have too much work to complete.” It’s a half truth. There is a lot on my plate that can easily wait until tomorrow, but that’s not the reason for my absence tonight. If I go, the masquerade theme of the night will just remind me about how Gabriella isn’t there. And I’m reminded about that enough as it is…I don’t need more of it.

“Look, Dimi, anyone with eyes can see you’ve been stressed for the last few months, and I assume it’s because whatever girl you were fucking is no longer wetting your cock. Maybe it’s time you reached out to Ana. She misses you, you know? Not that I’m complaining. I’ve been enjoying her increased need to impress me lately. It’s almost like she’s afraid I’ll toss her away too.” I watch as he plops down in the chair across from me, a sly smile growing on his lips. I can already feel my eyes rolling, because once the fucker settles, it’s nearly impossible to get him to leave. “Now, tell Uncle Alexei what happened.”

I could lie. It would be so easy. I've had enough practice that it’s like breathing by now. I could make up a story about Gabriella, but it feels wrong to do that. It feels like it would be a disservice to the first real thing in my life since I went undercover. The truth about what we shared deserves to be protected. And when the day comes where this entire mission comes to a head, I will do everything to keep her protected from the blowback. “Maybe I will take Ana back. I’m sure she misses my big pierced cock after having suffered your tiny sausage link for so long.”

Alexei snorts before he sighs, realizing he’s going to get nothing from me. I really wish I could tell him about the entire shit show my life has turned into since July. About Anton…about Gabriella…about the baby. But I can’t. Just like how I couldn’t be with Gabriella when she went through the most difficult and terrible thing a woman should ever have to experience. We both lost something more than each other that day. We lost something neither of us knew was there until it was already gone. Something I didn’t even know I wanted until it was too late.

It destroyed me to leave when she told me to go. I wanted to fight back and say no. I wanted to take her over my knee and spank her ass raw until she took every word back. But I saw the devastation on her face. The pain, the grief, the loss…the utter defeat. And I knew there wasn't anything I could do for her. She didn’t want my help. Not after I failed to give her what she needed in her time of need. Not then and not now.

And the worst part of it all was that I couldn’t even tell her why. I couldn’t tell her why our relationship had to remain a secret. I couldn’t tell her that it goes far beyond me being a Bratva captain. Sure, if it was just that, her family would eventually understand and agree once they saw how happy she was with me. But something tells me that being an undercover FBI agent would present a far bigger problem that they couldn’t overlook.

As terrible a thing as it was to say, Gabriella was right. That losing the baby was a blessing. It was the cruel wake-up call I needed to clear my head and set my priorities straight again. But between checking on her whereabouts and watching her through the cameras I left in her house, I’m not doing a very good job about it.

Maybe one day the attraction will fade, the desire will dissipate, and she’ll become nothing more than a distant memory of a time in my early career.

Maybe.

But unlikely.

“I need to finish this month’s books and then I’ll come join you,” I tell Alexei, hoping that within the hour he’ll be so shit faced, he won’t even notice my absence.?

Alexei leaves me alone and when he does, the silence of my office presses down on me. Needing something to distract my mind, I reach for my phone, intent on opening the app to Gabriella’s cameras. I must be a glutton for pain and punishment because seeing her hurts as much as it relieves me too. Before I can pick up my phone though, Sergei enters my office.?

“Volkov,” he says in his normal way of greeting, his voice rough from years of smoking.

“Pakhan.” I lean back in my chair and fight the urge to be tense in his presence. The man trusts me, which will be his downfall in the end, but he’s also not stupid. He has a unique skill of picking up on human tells. The way eyes flick toward objects or people when they lie or feel guilty. The way a person will fidget or grow restless. It’s something that has helped him become one of the most powerful men in Miami. Too bad for him. I’m also highly trained in that skill.

For example, I know there’s something worrying him from the way he moves, from stroking his facial hair to his thinning hair on top of his head. When he starts pacing in the middle of my office, I know I’m right. “What is it?”

“My idiot brother.”

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