Page 72 of Rugger: The Huntress

“Why?”

Rugger was trained to kill. She wasn’t paid to consider, she was paid to react. And, according to her background, she did her job well.

She secured the gauze and patted the point of impact. I clenched my ass cheeks and grinded my teeth against each other. She was well aware of the pain she’d caused.

“Ask me another question about my lack of– of– logic tonight and I will finish the job. I have no reason to keep you alive. I’ve gotten what I wanted from the encounter.”

I laid my head back on the arm of the couch and stared down at the most complicated being I’d ever encountered. She was as soft as she was solid. As delicate as she was deranged. As sugary as she was shitty. As calm as she was chaotic.

“Stop looking at me that way,” she mumbled, wrapping the remainder of the gauze around the plastic tube it had been attached to.

“Is that all?”

She stopped, peering up at me with uncertainty in those engulfing, dark eyes. They nearly swallowed me whole each time they were on me. But, fortunately, they were only after a few things.

My mind.

My heart.

My soul.

The rest I could have, but they made it perfectly clear they’d own the rights to each of those with time.

“Another question,” she sighed, trying to deflect.

“Answer it.”

“I don’t understand what you mean, Psalms.”

“Sonnie sounds better from your mouth.”

“Then,Sonnie.”

“Is that all you wanted? To feel me inside of you? Was that all?”

She paused for a second time. This time, her bottom lip disappeared into her mouth as she began computing a response in her head.

I wondered if there would be truth to what she decided to expose or if she’d do what she’d done all her life. Protect herself. Protect her feelings. Protect her truth.

“Don’t, Gazelle.”

“Don’t?” She batted, pulling me deeper into her trance.

“Don’t suppress the truth.”

“The truth has no grounds, Sonnie. I know it and so do you. Just like these questions, this moment is pointless. We live lives that don’t permit this type of– this, whatever it is that’s happening right now. I hunt for a living and if you ever appeared across the database, I wouldn’t hesitate to hunt you down and claim your life.

“That’s who I am. That’s who I was born to be. You aren’t the exception and neither am I. This was good, but this doesn’t last. Not for more than a night. That’s how long you have me. When the sun rises, we go back to our respective corners of the world and we continue our jobs.

“Because, avoiding situations like this, suppressing the truth, and protecting my heart is imperative to my survival. Love isn’t. Love is what has torn me fa–”

At once, her words stopped and her head lowered. A smile pulled her lips upward as she shook her head. I allowed her to take her time recalibrating. When her eyes were on me, again, the urge to continue encouraged me to lift up and wrap my fingers around Rugger’s arms.

I pulled her up onto the couch and onto my chest. When she settled and found comfort, I smoothed her slightly dampened hair back out of her face. Her scalp was warm and tender to the touch. I massaged it, gently. She began to relax against me.

“I heard you. I understand you. And, I want you to know that you are not wrong. The points you’ve made are valid. But, you didn’t answer my question, Gazelle. Tell me, was that all you wanted?”

Her chest rose and then fell. She pushed out a slow, shaky breath of air. Seconds passed before the rasp of her voice blessed me.

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