Page 145 of Rugger: The Huntress

Though I understood life and death, nothing about Psalms’ limp body allowed me to come to terms with the end of his life. Until a coroner looked me in my eyes and told me there was no more life inside of his body, I would fight for him to live. For him to love. For him to thrive.

Our lives together had just begun. It couldn’t end now. This was too soon. I deserved more time with him.

To show him who I was becoming. To show him who he’d chosen to love. To show him how influential he was in my life. To show him how much of my heart belonged to him. To show him that I was capable of the softer, milder version of myself that he’d promised he’d allow me to be. To show him that I trusted him. To show him that I wanted and needed him.

“Sonnnnie–” I wept, gathering his limp arms. Red and blue lights surrounded the building.

Focus, baby.

With every bit of strength I could muster, I pulled his body toward the door. The inch I managed nearly defeated me, but I refused to give up.

“Uggggh–” I grunted, pulling harder.

At the realization that his arms weren’t the best solution, I bent forward and looped my arms under his shoulders. Just as I began to make progress, my ass slammed against the floor and my head collided with the wood beneath me.

“FUCK.”

Progress hadn’t been made. Sonnie’s blood had brought me to the floor. His message was clear.

It’s over, Gazelle.

“Sonnie, please.”

I shook my head, unable to stomach his death. Still, I managed to pull myself from underneath him. My clothes, hair, and hands were soiled with his blood. I removed the earbuds from his ear and picked up the phone next to his corpse. With his case and my backpack in tow, I started for the stairs.

In a matter of seconds, the area would be locked down and the buildings would be crawling with government employees that I had no plans of encountering. I pushed my way out of the building when I reached the ground floor.

My right leg swung over my bike. Before I could get comfortable on the seat, it had already started and I was peeling off the parking lot. I rotated my right hand to increase my speed. The wind that peeled my tears back on my face didn’t matter. Traffic laws didn’t matter. I entered the expressway and put as much distance behind me as I could.

My engine didn’t settle until I reached my destination. I silenced the motor in front of the building and hopped off the bike. Sonnie’s case fell from my hands. I pushed the backpack off my shoulders.

“Urrrrrrrgh,” I gagged.

The queasiness intensified. I placed both hands on my knees and allowed everything I’d eaten over the last twenty-four hours to come forward.

“Urrgh.”

Puke spilled from my mouth onto the patch of grass next to the concrete. For approximately six minutes, I released everything inside of me. When I felt like there was no more to give, I removed my phone from my pocket.

There was only one person I needed to call. One voice I needed to hear. One human I needed to help me understand my new reality.

“Teddy–” I rushed out, emotions controlling my tone as tears covered my cheeks.

“Rugger,” sternly, he called out to me. Concern was etched in both syllables.

“He’s gone.”

“Rugger. Where are you? Are you hurt?”

I nodded. My chest caved. Yes. Yes, I was hurt. And, the pain was unlike anything I’d ever felt. My world had stopped spinning on its axis. I wasn’t sure if it would ever revolve again.

“Rugger, baby. Talk to me. Are you hurt?”

“Yes!” I screamed.

“Where?”

“MY HEART, TEDDY. MY FUCKING HEART HURTS.”

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