Page 21 of A Night with Damien Spur

But, when she found herself falling into dangerous lusty dreams, she played the wise owl, wished him well in his future life and kissed him goodbye.

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A visit to her friend Claudia gave Sophie little comfort.

Even a marvellous summer garden swathed with fragrant jasmine and climbing roses couldn’t distract her from her misery.

‘I just don’t understand why he doesn’t leave her. He talks as if there’s nothing to keep them together… I’m so fed up.’

She poured herself a second glass of Chablis. It would cool her brain.

Sunday afternoon and Nicholas was probably having lunch in the local pub with his dogs, while his wife was watching TV, eating a pizza from the freezer. What’s to leave?

‘I’m not surprised,’ Claudia replied, ‘but you chose to be in a relationship with a married man. Of course it’s going to be problematic.’

‘I told him I wasn’t going to see him again, but I didn’t really believe it myself.’

‘And how did he react?’

‘He’s not leaving her.’

‘Well, at least he’s truthful.’

‘Why are you defending him? You’re meant to be helpingme.’ She leant down and stroked the cat.

‘Sophie, he could have lied to you, like so many married men do. There are probably many reasons why he might feel he can’t leave. For instance, you told me he said the children would never speak to him again. And that’s just one.’

‘Yes, but they’re grown-ups, and anyway one day they’ll be gone. And what then? He’s left with his boring wife who doesn’t make him happy. Can you imagine, she cooks for the kids but never for Nicholas?’

‘Really?’ Claudia raised a quizzical brow. ‘You’re so naive, Sophie. I’ve heard the same story from clients over and over again. He says he doesn’t sleep with her, she doesn’t cook for him, they have nothing to say to each other… That’s Nicholas’s story. He’s telling you what you want to hear. I’m sure much of it is genuine, but he isn’t leaving in the near future unless there’s a change in the family dynamic. It’s a co-dependency built over many years of unhappy marriage.’

‘Thank God I haven’t slept with him. That’s to protect me, not her. It’s the only shred of self-esteem I have left.’ Sophie drained her glass.

‘Yes, very wise. The power of an emotional relationship with you without sex is more powerful than consummation. There’s anticipation, excitement and forbidden fruit.’

‘Please, Claudia. I’m struggling. I don’t know why I’ve fallen in love with Nicholas. He’s not my sort of guy at all. Very shy and polite. Doesn’t make waves. He’s just there. And although he says he loves me he’s adamant he doesn’t want an affair.’

She leant forward and whispered her confession.

‘He makes me feel like I’m the predator. And in a strange way I enjoy it. I think I’m going crazy… lusting after a married man. So what do I do?’ Sophie’s face was flushed and her eyes glazed. Half disgusted with herself and the other half ignited. The wine and the thought of ravishing Nicholas had broughtflames to her cheeks.

Claudia looked at her dear friend and said in her calm, impartial way, ‘I honestly think it’s important to create some space between you. Let him miss you. All you’re doing is facilitating his marital relationship.’

‘But it’s so lonely being on my own. Why can’t he just get a flat in London? He says he hardly sees her anyway. I know it’s true because he’s up here most of the time and he’s with me at least three times a week, and on Friday evenings he’s out playing poker with his cronies. What sort of marriage is that?’ The words flew from her lips.

‘It’s a typical twenty-year marriage of people who don’t work at their relationship. Why not enjoy a bit of glamour and fun with a beautiful woman and then back to the wife and dog walks? Would you like to pull a card on his wife?’ Claudia suggested gently.

‘Okay. I know he loves me, but I just can’t go on in a relationship that’s going nowhere.’

Sophie pulled one from the deck. ‘The Empress?’ she said.

‘Yes,’ Claudia replied, ‘the Empress Demeter, Mother Earth. The Major Arcana card of femininity and motherhood. She sits on her throne. A symbol of female fertility, creativity and stability. Giving birth and nurturing, giving and receiving unconditional love.’

‘How interesting,’ Sophie said. ‘Did you know that Damien wrote a book calledThe Empress? It’s about a wealthy woman who rescues Brazilian teenagers sold into prostitution and takes them to live with her.’

‘I did,’ Claudia replied. ‘He really knows how to write about women. Not the usual one-dimensional females you get in thrillers written by men.’

‘In fact, the lady has some of Demeter’s qualities,’ Sophie mused. ‘Down to earth, gives the kids discipline with a fair hand. Loves them all, even the kid who attacks her with a knife.It’s a brilliant novel, don’t you think? Such an intriguing story. I would never have guessed the ending.’

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