Page 76 of Wrath of the Never Queen

“No, no, the apologies should be mine. I did not realise you were so delicate.”

“Delicate!” he exclaims, laughing. “Hardly so. Rather, I am a gentleman. A gentleman who was not expecting his lady friend to be so crude.”

He grins, nudging me with his shoulder.

“It is not crude for a lady to know what to expect.” I sniff, although I cannot stop myself from smiling back.

“True, but with the way you have been with me…I suppose I did make an assumption.”

“In what way?”

“Well, every time we have been together closely, you are…” He casts his eyes skywards, thinking. “Overcome.”

I stare at him, wondering if I should be offended.

“Would you be so kind as to elaborate?” I ask sweetly. Theo catches my look and gives a contrite smile.

“I do not mean to say you have no effect on me because I assure you, you do. There have been many times where I have thought about…” He trails off, glancing at me, and clears his throat awkwardly. “Anyway. I mean to say, you allow me to take the lead often.”

Seemingly satisfied he has explained himself well enough, he looks for my reaction.

“And you believe that is due to inexperience?” I query, one eyebrow cocked.

“An assumption,” he repeats. “Which was wrong of me. Regardless, your experience or lack of experience matters not.”

“Indeed,” I say, pausing. “Admittedly, I have not accepted many suitors, but…I have never quite felt the same way with anyone else than I have with you.”

Theo looks sideways at me.

“Romantically?” he probes.

“Yes.” I swallow. “And other ways.”

His face breaks into a sly smile.

“The feeling is mutual,” he replies, turning towards me. “Truth be told, I have only ever felt something similar to this with one other person…but that was a long time ago.”

“Oh?” I say, intrigued. “May I ask who?”

Theo tilts his head up, looking at the stars through the glass. For a long time, I do not think he will reply. And then he sighs and slides back until he is lying down, his arms tucked under the back of his head.

“I was seven and ten,” he says, eyes fixed on the night sky. I lay on my back next to him. “I became friendly with one of the guards. Or…well, he was a guard-in-training, I suppose. The same age as me.”

Something familiar twigs in my brain, but I ignore it and listen.

“He was often stationed outside of mychambers, and eventually, we would make small talk, and then it would move onto…something more than everyday conversation. It was the first time I felt like someone was on my side, an ally, and the conversation flowed so easily. I began to look forward to seeing him. He would accompany me on trips to the gardens or when I could not stand to be around my father any longer and took my meals in my room…he would be there. He…he was my first kiss and my first love.”

Theo’s throat bobs as he swallows before taking a deep breath.

“Anyway. The rest of the guards did what they were there to do, which was to report what I was doing to my father. I knew something was wrong when he left without saying goodbye. For days, I thought it was something I had done. I hadsaidsomething or-ordonesomething to offend him and drove him away.” He blinks away tears, his eyes fixed on the sky. “And then my father had me watch him walk to the guillotine. He was bruised a-and bloody, andSaintsknows what they did to him in those three days in between because he was a shadow—” Theo’s voice breaks, and he takes a moment before he continues. “He was a shadow of the person I knew.”

Tears slide down his temple. He sniffs before wiping them away.

“His head was on a spike until the crowspecked it clean. I have one window in my chambers, and my dear, dear father put him on the spike right outside.” He spits these last words bitterly.

My heart aches listening to his tale, but I know it is nothing compared to how Theo must feel. I put a hand on his arm and squeeze.

“I do not have the words to console such cruelty,” I whisper. “I am so sorry, Theo.”

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