I shake my head.
“I do not want that.” I turn further towards him, twisting my torso. “Theo, if we are to court, you need to understand we are on equal ground.”
His eyebrows furrow.
“Of course—”
“Which means,” I continue, raising my voice slightly, “when you have these worries or concerns or anything else, you come to me with them before you decide to do anything on my behalf. We are partners.”
Theo blinks, the slightest trace of surprise on his face.
“Partners,” he repeats as though testing out the word, and a smile curves his lips. “Yes, I like that. Although, if I am being candid, I believe you may be a more formidable force than I. It is more likely you would be the one protecting me.”
He gives me his lopsided grin before reaching out to cup my face. His hand is warm against my cheek, and I lean into it, my worries from the evening evaporating.
“Theo,” I breathe, and he raises his eyebrows expectantly. “Would you stay with me tonight?”
Without breaking eye contact, he nods.
“Always.”
He begins to pull me closer, but I stop him.
“Just…” My heart is thumping so hard against my ribs, it may burst out at any moment. “Just like the last time where we…I-I mean to say, I do not want to…”
I am suddenly intensely embarrassed, trying to formulate the right words without being too assuming or crude. My face warms as I attempt to stammer out a sentence. Theo stands, smiling.
“You are in control, Shivani,” he tells me. “We will do nothing unless you choose to do so.”
I blush, relief rushing through me.
“Well, I…I would like to change first.” I laugh nervously. “I do not think my dinner dress will be the most comfortable sleep attire.”
“I believe you may be correct. Although I did not think they ever looked comfortable.” Theo grins before turning and walking to the washroom. “I shall be in here with the door closed. Call me when you are ready.”
As soon as he shuts the door, I quickly inspect it to make sure he is telling the truth, which, of course, he was. And that is when the panic sets in.
My boots and stockings are simple enough to remove but Inez dressed mebecauseit was a dress which required an external set of hands. The bodice is laced tightly at the back. I manage to twist my arm and grab the ribbon between the tips of two fingers, but when I yank at it, I realise it is held firmly in place with a complicated knot.
“Ugh!” I groan, throwing my hands down in frustration.
“Are you quite alright?” Theo calls from the bathroom.
“No, um, yes!” I lift up my skirt, trying to see if I can pull the whole thing up and over my head.
“No and yes?” he answers.
“It…is…complicated!” I reply, each syllable punctuated with a yank upwards. When that fails, I let the skirt fall back down. “Saints!”
“Shivani?” Theo calls again, knocking on the bathroom door. “Can I come out?”
“Yes,” I say miserably, and he steps outafter a moment. He raises an eyebrow when he sees me.
“So, you have opted for the dress as sleep attire?”
I glare at him.
“No. I…well, I cannot seem to take it off.” I raise my hands and let them fall to my sides. He regards me with an amused look.