Page 46 of Poisoned Roses

TITUS

Tia has unsettled me. Something has changed between us, and I don’t like how it makes me feel. All of my life, I’ve been in control. If I want something, it happens with very little effort on my part. I could tell she was angry at the way she was treated at the restaurant, but I had no control over that. I was intending on showing her how I reallytreat a woman when we returned to my apartment, but she had other ideas.

As I left her alone in her tiny apartment, she never left my thoughts, and I concluded that I deserve her anger. I should have been better. She deserved better.

I’m aware that expensive gifts and extravagant gestures won’t work on her. That is all I know.

So, I change direction—literally and instruct Simeon to return to the Romanov mansion.

Home.

When I wakein the morning, I breathe freely again. I’m in familiar territory. This is my life. My usual routine with nobody to question my moves.

I meet mama in the dining room for breakfast and she glances up in surprise.

“You’re home.”

“Is that so surprising?”

“I suppose not, but I heard you were spending time with your fiancée, who I have yet to meet, I might add.”

I note the accusation in her voice and push it aside. Mama has gotten away with murder, but it has altered her role in our family. She will always be respected—hell, I respect her even more for what she did, but I cannot forgive the murder of my father so easily, no matter the circumstances.

I help myself to coffee and she fixes me with a soft smile.

“She is very beautiful.”

I say nothing, merely lean back in my seat and glance out of the window.

“You can talk to me, Titus. I am still your mother.”

I detect the hurt in her voice and I nod.

I turn to her and say out of curiosity, “When you married pa, you say it was because Fedorov and Orlov arranged it.”

“That may be why he married me, but I was in love with him.” A sad smile accompanies her words.

“And you were happy with that?” I’m not judging her. I’m interested and she nods, a soft smile on her face.

“I thought time would cure his obsession with Veronica. That when we raised a family, he would discover the joys of that. To fall in love with me and push her aside. Wake up if you like to the perfect existence that involved me.”

“But he didn’t.” I add cruelly and she nods, a sad gleam in her eyes.

“To a degree, we were happy. I had everything I wanted, and he was playing a part. His heart was elsewhere, but he was an honorable man and stuck to his part of the deal, until, well, the deal expired.”

I push aside the reasons for that and say with curiosity, “He set me up to replace him and I was never given the opportunity to say no.”

If anything, I understand mama more since discovering that because like her, I am being used for the good of the State. Like pa even.

“You were always his successor, Titus, in every way.” She sighs heavily. “The fact he had five sons meant he had spares, for want of a better description and if anything happened to you, he would still have a successor—a way out if you like.”

Her words are brutal but I accept them for what they are — the truth.

“So he played his part and things never worked out for you, so you went along with Boris’s wishes and ended his life.”

“For his sake.” Her eyes sparkle with the ever present tears that have never gone away since his death and if anything, I hurtfor her. Am angry on her behalf and know that if my father were still alive, I would probably kill him myself for what he has done to her and this family.

I don’t judge my mother. How can I? She had no other choice, but I do. I’m rewriting my future and, hopefully, several million others along with it.

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