Page 96 of Unforgivable

That tidbit had my head snapping up to his. “You…you went to the appointments?”

Jack smiled at me softly. “Of course I did. You were my child and I wanted to be as involved as I possibly could with the…horrible circumstances. I still remember your first sonogram. I remember looking at that monitor and bursting into tears because there you were. The result of everything Leana and I had shared. You made us so damn happy, Callum.”

I was quaking, emotions hitting me from each direction until I didn’t know what the fuck I was feeling. “Then why did you leave me after she died? Why were you always gone?” I demanded, my voice growing louder with each word.

“Please understand, I was devastated when your mother died,” Jack rasped. “I never stopped loving her. I didn’t know how to deal with losing her. Then there you were…this beautiful, perfect reminder of my Leana and it hurt to look at you sometimes. I know how that sounds, but I was destroyed by her death. It changed me. I had finally gotten to be your dad full-time, but it came at the cost of the love of my life. After that it was so hard to be home with you with all that grief and guilt that I took the easy way out. I thought about quitting to be home with you so many times, but…I was a fucking coward.”

That word crumbled me. Rhys had called me a coward once and it gutted me that I actually understood where Jack was coming from. How many times had I run away from Rhys when I felt too much? My sins were different from Jack’s, but they were two sides of the same coin. We’d both hurt people we loved because we were too scared to face the possibility of hurting ourselves. Jack had been a fucking terrible father for so long, but there were also many years that he was one of my favorite people. He had shown his love with all the time he spent with me while I was growing up and being a strong presence in my life. Annoyingly, I also believed him when he said he’d loved me since mom’s pregnancy. But it didn’t erase all the hurt that was inflicted over time.

“This doesn’t change anything,” I cried, fighting like hell to hold onto my bitterness and anger to steel myself. “You still fucked up and because of that,I am fucked up. I don’t have it in me to forgive you. And how do I know I can trust you on any of this? I’m the living, breathing proof of yours and mom’s lies, so why should I believe anything you say?”

At that moment, my phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out on reflex. I could barely read the message through my tears and the headache pounding against my skull, but I saw it was from Rhys.My sweet Rhys.Fuck, I would have given anything to have him there withme. I needed his calm, comforting presence to anchor me as I struggled not to come apart at the seams.

“I would never lie to you about this. You deserve the truth of what happened in the past, but you don’t just deserve it from me. I know Leana left you a letter before she died. Have you ever read it?”

My eyes slammed shut as pain washed over me. I had tried so fucking hard to forget that letter existed because I wasn’t strong enough to read it. I knew I probably never would be. If I wasn’t such a coward just like dear old dad, I would have burned it ages ago, but I couldn’t let go of mom’s words. I kept it safe, hidden with the last two photos of her I had in that children’s book. I had looked at it so many times over the years, tracing over her handwriting of my name and trying to squeeze out even a fucking ounce of courage to read it. I never could.

“I can’t read it,” I admitted in a hoarse whisper.

“Why? Leana deserves to give her side of the story as much as you deserve to hear it. Son, please…”

“You are NOT MY DAD!” I shouted, losing all composure. “You haven’t earned that right! You left me toher!You believedher!I lost my mother, my best goddamn friend in the world, and you abandoned me just like she did! You proved that bitch Blair right! I’m a worthless, piece of shit mistake! You never should have let me be born!”

Jack looked horrified and shattered at my outburst, but I was shattered too. “Callum, how could you say that? You are the farthest thing from worthless and you couldneverbe a mistake! You are my son and I would have sooner died than give you up, your mom included! You have every right to be furious with me, but please read her letter?—”

“Don’t you understand that I can’t do it?! I already hate you, I can’t hate her too! It’d fucking end me!” I bellowed.

The door to my apartment flung open, Rhys stumbling in breathless and panicked. The instant my eyes crashed with Rhys’ worried, violet gaze, I completely and hopelessly broke. My knees shook and gave out, and I sank to the floor with a hard thud. I couldn’t see past the deluge of my tears and my own sobs drowned out every noise. In the next second, I was surrounded by a warm body and a sweet coconut smell that I inhaled like it was the only air I could breathe. Rhys’ arms around me had me falling apart even more, but somehow also held me together.

“It’s okay, baby. I’m here, I’m right here. It’ll be okay,” Rhysmurmured in my ear, his hands running in circles on my back. “I love you, Cal. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here.”

My heart felt like it would explode hearing those words falling from his lips. I told myself I’d be patient until he was ready to say it back, but fuck, those words were everything to me. Somehow I cried even harder and I hated that I was such a wreck. But it didn’t matter because Rhys was there. Like he said, everything would be okay with him there.

“Callum…” Jack started, but it was like he didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even know what he could say at that point. I had no capacity left to do anything but try to breathe, let alone talk to him. Either out of protectiveness or this innate sense of what I needed most, Rhys stood up to deal with Jack.

“I’m really sorry, but I think it’s time for you to go, sir,” Rhys told him firmly, ever my polite good boy.

“Who are you?” Jack asked, but his tone wasn’t rude, merely curious.

“I’m Cal’s boyfriend, Rhys. I’m assuming you’re his Uncle Jack?”

“I’m…yes,” he answered softly. I was shocked that he’d taken what I’d said to heart about not being my dad. Part of me was pleased he’d kept that to himself, but the other part of me was confusingly sad to hear him deny it. Jesus, this was such a fucking mess.

“Well, I’m sorry we’re meeting under these circumstances, but you should go. I don’t mean to be rude, but Cal clearly needs some time,” Rhys reasoned with him.

“Please, I just want to help and be here for him...”

“With all due respect, it’s not about what you want. It’s about what Cal needs. Give him some space and time, and I’m sure he’ll reach out when he’s ready.” Rhys’ steadfast support of me had me falling even more in love with him, and I didn’t think that was humanly possible.

It was silent for several beats, no one moving or talking. I kept my gaze trained on the floor since I couldn’t face Jack again like this. I was emotionally drained and hanging on by a thread. Finally, I heard footsteps heading toward the door.

I looked up at the sound of it opening, seeing Jack staring down at me with a myriad of emotions crossing his face. Remorse, despair, concern, fear, and even love. The longer our eyes stayed connected, the more I saw the undeniable love he felt for me. It was the same look in his eye when I was just a little kid who worshiped his uncle. But it was more than that.

As I sat there crumpled on the ground in the wreckage of our revelations, I saw him as my dad.

“I’ll give you time, but I’ll always be here for you. I’ll find a way to make things up to you. I swear on my life,” he promised, plastering his hand over his heart. “I love you, Callum.” And then he was gone.

Rhys sank back down on his knees beside me, catching my eyes. We sat there not saying a word, our gazes locked while the air shifted as it always did with us. But it wasn’t our usual charged, sexual energy. This was something softer and even more magnetic drawing us together. I didn’t know who moved first, but our lips met and bodies collided, a gentle crash that was just as powerful as our unrestrained lust.

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