I fixed myself some coffee, thinking of ways to distract myself until I heard from Rhys again. I collapsed on the couch, about to pull up Netflix when someone rapped on the door. My brows scrunched together, wondering if Griffin had left his key here last night and couldn’t let himself in. The face that greeted me when I opened the door was the last one I expected.
“The fuck are you doing here?” I blurted, staring dumbfounded at Uncle Jack. He rubbed his hands together, lips rolling inward with an apprehensive expression.
“I’m sorry for dropping by unannounced, but can I come in?” He asked, nerves coating his tone. I begrudgingly stepped aside to let him in, his entry bought only because he’d come through for me with the tuition incident. Jack surveyed my apartment with a small, sad smile on his face and I realized why. He had never been there before. He’d been so removed from my life the last several years that I was essentially a stranger to him now.
“You gonna tell me why you’re here on a Friday morning?” I grumbled, going back to sipping my coffee if only to give my hands something to do.
“I’ve been thinking about you,” Jack started, fidgeting with his car keys. “I’ve been trying to give you space like you wanted, but we really need to talk, Callum.”
I shook my head, a mirthless laugh escaping me at the thought. “Talk? Seriously? You and I haven’t really talked in years. You haven’t been around. I can’t imagine what we have to say to each other now.” I circled around him, sitting on the edge of the couch since I was too keyed up to relax.
“Believe me, I realize how shitty of a father I’ve been?—”
“Don’t,” I bit out harshly. “You don’t get to use that word.” A flicker of remorse hit me when Jack winced at my words, but I ignored it. Calling himself anything but my uncle would earn him a one-way ticket on the Fuck Right Off Express.
“I want to be in your life, Callum. I want to do whatever it takes to repair our relationship. I know I have a hell of a lot to make up for, but I’m willing to do anything. Please give me a chance,” Jack implored. Anger sparked in my gut, indignant that he would want anything from me after so long. I put my coffee mug down with a loud thud, shovingup from the couch.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I snapped. “You want me to give you a chance when you basically left me to be raised by Blair? Do you have any idea what your bitch of a wife did to me? You heard her admit it that day I came to the house, but do you know the extent of the shit she put me through?”
“Callum—”
“When you started traveling for your job, Blair made it her mission to make my life miserable,” I growled, cutting him off. “She threw out anything that belonged to mom and wouldn’t let me talk about her ever. And when I did? She’d scream at me, call me a worthless, pitiful mistake. She’d call me every name in the book to make me feel like absolute shit about myself. If I talked back or argued in any way, that bitch would hit me with whatever was nearby. A wooden spoon, a TV remote, a shoe, anything she could reach.”
Jack’s eyes never left mine, his face wet with tears that streamed down his cheeks. He didn’t say anything, only listened as I finally unleashed the torrent of pain I endured. Adrenaline coursed through me, shaking my voice as I fought to continue. The memories were stifling, pulling me under in a suffocating wave, but I couldn’t stop.
“It only got worse from there,” I grated out. “One time when I wouldn’t stop screaming back at her, she got fed up and dragged me to the guest closet. She shoved me in and left me there for over an hour. You know the one? The one with no lights and the fucking lock she put on it? I lost my mind panicking in there. She figured out pretty damn quick that I was claustrophobic and it became her number one weapon. For years, she found any excuse to lock me in there and scare the ever-loving shit out of me. Just because she could. Just becauseyouweren’t there to protect me!”
A sob wrenched from Jack’s throat, his hand flying up to cover his mouth like he was going to be sick.That makes fucking two of us…
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” Jack cried, his blue eyes showing me the depth of his distress. “I swear to God, I didn’t know she was hurting you! I…I believed her when she said that you were angry and hurting because of your mom and that you were lying about what she did. I didn’t want to believe that she would ever do something so disgusting…I can’t ever ask your forgiveness, Callum. I don’t deserve it.” He stumbled back into the couch, crashing down as though his knees gave out on him. He was a blubbering mess, but I wasn’t much better. My eyes stung from the tears that couldn’t be contained.
“You’re right. You don’t deserve it,” I choked out. “That’s why I didn’t tell you when it continued. You proved to me very quickly that nothing I said would matter because no one would believe me. So tell me again how you want to be a part of my life when you let me down over and over again.”
“I know you hate me, Callum,” he croaked through stuttering breaths. “But not as much as I hate myself for failing you. I promised Leana that I would take care of you, that I would be the father you deserved and I let her down too. I am so fucking sorry for not being good enough for you,” Jack wept. I turned away, too close to breaking from the turmoil I saw in him. I didn’t want to feel bad that he was so distraught. I didn’t want to have that tiny, needling urge to let him back in so I could have a parent again. But something he said had a question crawling up my throat before I could force it back down.
“What happened with you and mom?” My voice was barely above a whisper, but Jack’s gaze lifted to mine and I saw a watery smile break through.
“I loved her,” Jack breathed. “I loved her so damn much, even though I knew it was wrong. You have to understand, Leana and I didn’t plan to have an affair or betray anyone. We fell in love and…”
“You made a mistake,” I intoned, ice seeping into my blood. “MeaningIwas a mistake.”
“No!” Jack barked, standing swiftly and closing some of the distance between us. “You were never a mistake. I told you before, I loved you from the second I found out about you. You were the love of our lives, Callum. You still are to me, no matter how you may feel about me.”
“Then why leave me? Why leaveus?” I asked angrily. “If you loved us so much, why stay with Blair and never tell me who you really were?”
“That was Leana’s decision. I hated it. I wanted to do right by her and divorce Blair, but she begged me not to,” he explained adamantly.
“You expect me to believe that?”
“It’s the truth. When Blair and I were in our first year of marriage, things were really bad between us. Leana and I had always been friends, but we grew very close during that time. The first time we slept together was done in the heat of the moment and we both regretted it.Despite how she is now, I did love Blair and I hated that I cheated on my wife. But after that we couldn’t stay away from each other. We fell for each other and continued to be together for almost a year. I had been planning to talk to Leana about getting a divorce, but then she got pregnant with you...” Jack trailed off, taking a steadying breath. I was rooted to the spot, unsure how to take in the full story after so long of being kept in the dark. Mom hadn’t told me anything beyond Jack being my father, and I had been too heartbroken and pissed to hear anything else.
“Being pregnant changed everything for Leana. Your grandparents found out and she couldn’t lie to them about the affair any longer. They were so livid with us and wanted her to…terminate the pregnancy, but we both told them that wasn’t fucking happening. They agreed to keep the truth from Blair, but cut all ties with Leana. Then she decided to drop out of UT even though I fought with her not to. That was when I told her of my plan to divorce, to take care of you both, but she turned me down. She…she said that she had been too selfish with me already and had betrayed her sister for too long, and we had you to think about. You were the only thing that mattered and she had to do right by you. She didn’t want you to be born into a wrecked family and a broken marriage because of what we’d done.”
Hearing how mom had always put me first, even before I was born, made my heart twist painfully. I rubbed at the phantom ache in my chest, trying and failing to choke back the godforsaken tears that wouldn’t dry the fuck up.
“So you just let her go?” I whispered, unable to look at him.
“I fought her on it as much as I could, but you knew how Leana was. You get your stubbornness from her,” he said, his lips tilting up faintly. “And I thought she was right at the time. I had loved Blair once and I owed her enough to give our marriage a real shot. So Leana and I ended the affair, but I tried to be there for her as much as she’d let me. Blair knew nothing except that her sister had gotten pregnant with a man who didn’t want to be involved, so I made the excuse that Leana needed family to help her. It allowed me time to be there for her doctor’s appointments and financially support her.”