Page 76 of Unforgivable

Villains like me didn't belong with beautiful souls like him and we sure as hell didn't get happy endings.

22

RHYS

Of all the sights that I expected to show Cal at the Lighting of the Square festival, Connor Rigby was certainly not one of them. I think I was still scooping my jaw off the floor having him here and actually talking to me like nothing had gone wrong with us. He used to hate this festival and would tease me nonstop about how much I enjoyed it since, according to him, it was for crotch goblins and old fogies.

His words, not mine…

So I'd say I was entitled to a little skepticism about why he was so adamant to talk to me, specifically away from Callum. The hurt that marred his face when I'd said yes to Connor gutted me, and I wanted nothing more than to leap into his arms again and cement myself to him permanently. Good grief, it was the most exquisite torture when he'd held me after I nearly buttplanted on the sidewalk.

His arms were so toned and strong, and he smelled like Heaven dipped in sin. Don't know exactly what that smells like, but I'd bet my kidneys it'd smell just like Cal. And the way he had stared into my eyes, as though I were the only person in the world who mattered to him? Yeah, I had an unfortunate wet spot in my boxers and a couple dirty fantasies now that showed what effectthathad on me. The extreme craving to capture those perfect lips of his had ripped through me like wildfire, scorching every nerve in its path.

I was almost positive he would have made a move if our unexpected guest hadn't cut in. I was thankful there was no bloodshed when I returned to them, but it was obvious their talk wasn't a pleasant one.

“So what's with you and that guy anyway? What's his deal?” Connor asked when he'd pulled me a good distance away. I oddly thought about how his hand on my back no longer sent tingles across my skin like it used to. Not like Cal's now did. When he touched me, it was like being doused in lighter fluid and set ablaze. I'd happily burn every time if that meant I could have his touch.

“Is that really what you wanted to talk about? I haven't heard from you in a year and a half and you want to ask about my love life?” I asked incredulously. I was baffled by his audacity to ask me personal questions like that without even so much as an apology. My mind replayed all the times Cal had apologized when he'd wronged me, and the differences between them were starting to sharpen.

“Look, that wasn't really my fault. Natalie could be really damn jealous and I'd told her about how we were together once, so she didn't think it was appropriate that I talk to you,” he said sheepishly. I figured I'd be angry if I ever got to confront Connor about dropping me from his life, but strangely enough I didn't feel…anything.

“That sounds like a surefire recipe for a healthy relationship. Mazel tov on that one,” I murmured.

“There's that sarcasm I miss so much,” Connor smiled down at me, and I noticed that also had changed. His smile didn't weaken my knees or speed up my pulse. That was someone else now too.And I really needed to get back to him.

“Connor, that's not?—”

“I broke up with Natalie,” he blurted. “About a month after summer break. I just realized it wasn't what I really wanted. She was great and all, but like I said, she had some issues. And for a while all I could think was how much I missed you and how I hated that I never gave us a real chance to be together. Yeah, we fucked around and I loved it, but I also sort of kept you at arms length. I guess I was scared to let myself really fall for you, but I'm not scared anymore. I'm so sorry about everything, but do you think you could give me a chance?”

Someone definitely spiked the hot cocoa. It's got to be drugged. This is drugs, right? This must be what they mean by tripping balls because there is no way I'm hearing him correctly.

“Wait, what? Where is all this coming from?” I questioned him. “This is like, so much to take in right now…”

“I know. I didn't mean to drop this on you, but when I saw you and that guy together, I had to go for it. I didn't want to lose you again. I've thought about messaging you a hundred times the last couple months, but I always psyched myself out of it. Please, Rhys. Give me a chance to show you how great we can be together again,” he pleaded. His eyes gleamed with sincerity, but his words nettled me. It was possible he had thought about this before, but it seemed like seeing me with Cal had triggered it.

A boy doesn't want a toy until another boy has fucked with it. Ugh, now I'm cursing. This is all Cal's fault, that stupid, sexy mothercurser.

Why was everyone scared to fall for me? Was it so terrifying being in love with me? Cal had also run away from me when it got to be too much, but he came back. He worked so hard to earn my forgiveness and had put his own feelings for me aside for what I needed most. He'd held himself accountable and every action since had done nothing but show me how much he cared. Thinking about him brought a smile to my face and suddenly, I didn't care what else Connor had to say. I only wanted to go home. With Cal.

I reached for Connor's hand and gave it a firm squeeze, flashing him a sympathetic smile. My gesture must have been misconstrued because he just gave me a wide grin and I saw the relief in his gaze.

“Connor, it's been good to see you and I'm truly sorry, but I can't be with you,” I told him gently. The smile was wiped from his face and my gut twisted a bit with regret, but not much. “To be honest, I don't think we were ever meant to end up together. I don't regret anything we did, but I also don't want to go backwards. Cal…”

I paused, not sure how to articulate just what Cal was to me, how much he meant to me. How did I put into words that Cal had become as necessary as the blood in my veins, the air in my lungs, the heart in my chest? It sounded dramatic, but the truth was actually quite simple when I thought about it.

“Cal is my future,” I admitted, the rightness of it washing over me and burrowing into my bones. “I'm sorry about what happened with Natalie, but you'll find the right person for you. The person you perfectly fit with, the one you can't stand to be without because they're your other half. The one who will know you inside and out, better than you know yourself, and still love every broken piece of you.”

Connor looked defeated. “And you think he's that person for you?”

“I know he is. And that means I could never be that person for you,” I said softly.

His resigned expression told me I'd at least somewhat gotten through to him. “Can we at least be friends and start talking again?”

I bit my lip, thinking over his request. “I don't think that's a good idea right now. Since you told me you have feelings for me, that wouldn't be fair to Cal for me to talk to you. I personally would hate it if he was talking to an ex who still liked him, you know? He has to be my priority. I'm really sorry.”

“No, I get it. It sucks, but I get it,” Connor grumbled. “I hope he makes you happy, Rhys. And for what it's worth, I am sorry for how I treated you last year.”

I held out my arms for a hug and his lips tilted up at the corners. He squeezed me tightly and a small part of me was sad about the end to our friendship. Even if we somehow managed to be friends again later, it wouldn't be the same. That Rhys didn't exist anymore. I wasn't the same awkward teenager who followed Connor around like a shadow and traded in his virginity for safety over love.

---