Page 41 of Unforgivable

The silence felt interminable as Rhys considered what I said, leaving me to stand there like an idiot while he decided whether I was worth a chance or not.

The sad truth was I knew I wasn't worth it. I was poison. I took my anger out on Rhys for my own screw up. As much as I despised her, my aunt was right to say I was trash and undeserving of the attention I got. In many ways, I shouldn't have been born. It was just a fact. I was nothing, a fraud who only pretended he was worth a shit.

My mom was the only one who made me feel like I was good enough. Until Rhys. Through all the crap I put him through, he saw something in me and tried to tear down my walls. I wasn't able to just give that up now that I'd found it again.

He opened his arms wide and looked at me expectantly. I could only blink at him.

“…is that supposed to mean something?”

“Just come here.” Rhys motioned for me to step closer, but I stayed rooted in place.

“Seriously though, why?”

He rolled his eyes at my obstinance. “It's a hug. You know, an embrace meant to convey warmth and comfort to another person, sometimes even an unconventional, undefined friend?”

“You know, I'm all good,” I said, trying and failing to give him a convincing smile.

“No you're not.”

“I really am...”

“Just give into it.”

“I'd feel all itchy…”

“I'll scratch it for you.”

“Now that just sounds weird.”

“CAL! Shut up and get over here,” Rhys barked at me. I stepped forward and let him fold his arms around me. The sensation was weird, but I couldn't deny that it also felt good. Really good. For some reason, my own arms came up and slipped around his back and I strangelydidn't want him to let go. I held my breath, unwilling to move as if it would shatter the tenuous moment. After a few seconds, Rhys pulled back and gave me a small smile.

“Where are we going for lunch?” he asked and I finally let myself breathe.

12

CALLUM

Every conversation with Rhys, whether by text or in person, had always felt easy and natural in a way I couldn't readily explain. With each message I sent him, I had been anxious for his response. I had been eager for anything I could learn about him. I convinced myself it was all ammunition to use against him, a necessity for my plans.

Now sitting across from him in tense silence, all I could think about was drawing out every bit of information he'd willingly give simply because I wanted to hear it. I wanted to know him. Maybe then I'd have a real shot at understanding why I was inexplicably both calmed and stimulated in his presence. It was a confounding sensation and I wasn't quite sure how I felt about it.

“So, you wanted to explain why you've been so horrible to me?” Rhys asked, eyes riveted on the table between us. We hadn't said a word to each other in nearly twenty minutes since we sat down, ordered food and waited for it to arrive. I admit it wasn't the smoothest start to our undefined, unconventional non-friendship, but fuck if I was giving up now we were here.

I let out a deep breath and fought to get my thoughts in order. “Right. I'm not trying to make excuses for why I've been such a dick, but you at least deserve the reason behind it.”

Rhys lifted his head and gave me a bemused look. “Uh, I think youwere pretty clear about the reason. “Call my coach or else” didn't really leave a lot of room for interpretation.”

“Fair enough,” I winced. “But full disclosure, that was only part of it….”

“Okaaaay? Then what was the rest of it?” Worry colored his face and I squirmed in my seat. I hadn't had to explain myself to anyone like this before. I was two seconds away from saying screw it and bailing, but one glance at those magnetic eyes of his had the truth tumbling out of me.

“Look…I'm fucked up, Rhys. Yes, I was scared shitless thinking I'd lose my scholarship and be shoved back under the same roof as my aunt. I took all that anger and fear out on you because it felt like the only thing I could do to keep from spiraling. To put it bluntly, you took my control away and I fucking hated you for it. The only other time I've felt that way was living with her. Everything I had done to take back my life was so close to being ruined because of what you did, so I came after you.”

My confession was painful, but there was also a confusing amount of relief that came from confiding in him. I thought it would be difficult to be this candid about everything, but Rhys' patience and willingness to hear me out made it easier than it should have been.

“I didn't just want you to take back your complaint. I wanted you to feel everything I did because hurting you actually made me feel more in control,” I continued, shame pouring over me with each syllable. “Then you started talking to me and pushing back, and I kind of became obsessed with this thing between us. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was getting drawn in and you saw parts of me that I haven't let anyone see since my mom passed, and it pissed me off.”

“But why? I didn't push you to open up, you chose to do that. Why take it out on me like you did?” Rhys asked, anger and concern blending on his features as he pinned me with those bright, perceptive eyes. The contact between us had me feeling hot under the collar, my chest constricting in a way I'd only ever experienced with him.

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