Page 40 of Unforgivable

“Ding ding ding! It means he's over your crap and wants nothing to do with you!”

“Listen, I really?—”

“You went too far?—”

“I know I did?—”

“—and you are nothing but a?—”

“Monster,” I blurted out, cutting him off. It worked to stop his stream of consciousness and he stood gaping at me again, evidently shocked by my admission. “I was a complete asshole to you, and if you'll let me, I'd really like to take you to lunch and explain.”

My heart was in my throat as I waited for him to either give me a chance or turn me down flat. How had I gone from wanting to destroy this guy to…being worried he'd never talk to me again? I was so fucking fucked here.

Rhys' gaze was piercing and pensive, his eyes never leaving mine like he was searching their depths for any deception. He wouldn't find any. I only wanted to talk to him.

“I'm going to ask you three questions, and I expect you to answer them honestly. If you do, then I'll agree to lunch,” he said matter-of-factly. Instantly I was nervous because this could easily veer into territory that I was wildly uncomfortable discussing.

“Do I at least get veto power on a question?” I hedged.

“Nope. Three questions, three answers, or no deal.” His lips were set in a tight line and I knew this was the toll I had to pay.

“Fine. Shoot,” I reluctantly agreed.

“Did you plan for your friend to spy on us that night?” Rhys asked.

“No. I didn't know he would do that, and I'm sorry that he did,” I answered honestly, keeping my gaze trained on his intently.

“Are you still going to push me to drop my report against you?”

Now that was the kicker, and I should have anticipated that question from him. After all, it was fair. I had started this whole crusade to get him to retract what he told my Coach and clear my name. Everything hateful I had done or said to him was centered around that goal. However, I didn't crave that vindication like I had before, and it wasn't what I wanted most anymore.

“No, I'm not. I won't ask you about it again,” I responded, still never wavering from the intense look he gave me. I needed him to see how sincere I was. His eyes narrowed, weighing my words carefully.

“Why do you care about talking to me at all? Why am I worth it?”

ThatI hadn't been prepared for. I was still trying to figure out why my feelings had done a 180 and now I was expected to spill my guts to him?

“That's technically two questions.” I tried to deflect, but Rhys wasn't having it.

“You have three seconds to answer,” he said impassively.Well, why not cue the fucking Jeopardy music while we're at it?

“Shit, okay…honestly, I don't entirely know why, but I guess…” I paused, unsure how to continue.

“Two seconds.”

“Ugh, alright! I guess I haven't felt this comfortable with anyone in a really long time,” I rushed out. “I know I've been a shithead to you and done some messed up things, but I can't stop thinking about how texting with you and being around you makes it easy to beme. It's like I can take a full breath around you and I don't have to constantly be on my guard. It takes a lot out of me to be around people, talk to them, just be in their presence. It can be exhausting, even when I have fun and like it. With you, it's different. It's effortless and…I'm not ready to let that go.”

I felt raw and exposed sharing with Rhys why I was adamant about keeping him around. There was more stirring beneath the surface that I wasn't equipped to deal with yet, so I could only give him this. This was the most honesty I could spare.

“What happened to hating me and doing things the “hard way”, huh? That just disappear overnight?” Rhys jabbed. I was on the precipice of this all going to shit, so I forced down my frustration and stuck to what he wanted. Honesty.

“As much as it pained me to admit to myself,” I started slowly, “I realized that I don't actually hate you anymore. I'm not gonna lie, I did hate you. I was pissed at you for everything that happened and wanted to hurt you for what you did, but I got to know you and it changed things for me. I'm not saying to forget about everything I did or forgive me for it. All I want is a chance for us to talk, get to know each other better. Maybe start over and try to be friends?”

“You said we werefriendsbefore, and that didn't exactly work out for me,” he commented.

I stifled the growl working its way up my chest, feeling annoyed forhow much he was making me work for it. Then I reminded myself that I hadn't exactly made it easy for him to trust me. I couldn't blame him for his suspicion.

“Well, how about we ditch the label and just consider ourselves friendly in an undefined, unconventional way and go from there?” I suggested awkwardly. Jesus, I was making this weird.

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