Griffin's eyes blazed and I could have sworn I heard a low growl emanate from his chest. What I definitely wasn't imagining was the other emotion lingering behind the fire. He was hurt. I knew better than anyone what that looked like. Maybe I wasn't so far off the mark with my jab after all.
“You need to drop that complaint and move on before you regret knowing him. You think you like all his attention now? Just wait.”
He shoved me a little harder against the wall before backing up and retreating from me. I took in a shaky breath as he walked away. Maybe he was right about my coming to regret everything with Callum. If tonight had proven anything, it was that every step forward with Cal always came with two giant leaps back.
I was beginning to suspect that I had ultimately been fooled by his beautiful face and witty words and stayed willingly blind to the damage he could inflict on me. He had made it no secret that he wanted to wreck me, whether by tears or cum, and I had just let him. I never pulled the ripcord to stop the free fall that came from being with Cal.
It was always offered to me and I ignored it each time. But not anymore.
I was getting off this ride and putting a stop to letting Cal manipulate and play with me however he wanted. Yet somewhere deep down, I knew that wouldn't last long.
He was my unintended weakness. I only wish I were his.
11
CALLUM
Sweat slipped down my face and my muscles burned as I pushed myself through another grueling workout. Since cornering Rhys four nights ago, I couldn't concentrate for shit and sleep was essentially nonexistent. Therefore, working out was the only thing guaranteed to keep my blood pumping enough that I didn't fall asleep standing up or get run over crossing the street because I zoned out.
I'd screwed with Rhys before and never batted an eye, but this time was different. I'd crossed a different line with him that night and I didn't know how to feel about it. I should have been feeling empowered, putting him in his place and reminding him just how little he meant to me. I had proven my point that he was only worth what I could get from him, which was his misery and my life back intact.
So why did I feel like the biggest piece of shit for how easily I used him and left him to clean up the mess?
Something had shifted after we opened up to each other at the diner. For some godforsaken reason, I told him things I'd never shared with another soul. Being so callous with him after that felt wrong. It also didn't help that Griffin had been a perverted dipshit and caught me with my pants down. Literally. I didn't care about that so much since he'd seen me naked enough times in the locker room and the few times he'd sucked my dick, plus he's been privy to my sex life since we started rooming together.
But the thought of him seeing Rhys vulnerable like that twisted something inside me that made me feel nauseous and kind of pissed. Why the fuck should I care? He meant nothing to me. He was a weird, naive, lanky nerd who I never would have looked twice at if he hadn't been instrumental in screwing up my good name.
Yet for the hundredth time in the last four days, I pulled out my phone to check for a notification I knew wouldn't be there.
Me
You enjoy your Halloween, Sweetness? Hope you stayed safe with all the monsters out there.
Aw, is someone still a little angry with me?
Come on, Evans. Don't be like that. It's been two days. You know seeing my name on your screen gives you the warm fuzzies. Just admit you miss me.
Would it help if I said I'm sorry?
Would sending a nude get me a little forgiveness? I'm sure you're missing my cock right about now…
Okay, that was a misstep. I see that now.
You disappoint me, Sweetness…I thought ghosting would be beneath you.
I'm sorry, Rhys. For real.
If I had seen anyone else be as pathetically needy and desperate as I had been texting Rhys, I would have kicked their ass to knock some sense into them. It was a compulsion at that point to try to get a response from him, and it was seriously pissing me off. One fucking blowjob and this dude had short-circuited my brain, turning me inside out and unrecognizable. It didn't make a lick of sense to me, none of it.
I was Callum fucking Hawkins. I didn't text bomb people or ask for their forgiveness. I definitely didn't feel shit like remorse or anxiety. This wasn't me. I had to get a grip before I careened so far over the edge that even rescue crews couldn't save me.
“Hawkins!” Coach's voice boomed across the weight room, snapping me out of my internal bedlam.
“Yeah, coach?” I jogged over to where he stood, his expression inscrutable as always.
“You've put in a lot of work lately. You're at six days a week on your fitness logs, correct?”
“Yes sir,” I answered. “I'm just trying to make up for all the sh—crap from earlier this year.”