Page 15 of Unforgivable

Unknown

Sweet dreams, Sweetness. See you soon.

I locked my phone and shoved it back in my bag as I walked into my apartment. I had too many thoughts swirling around my brain, dredging up the memories of Hawk and even older memories that carried far more pain.

Before I hopped into a cold shower to hopefully kill the loathsome erection that had sprung up after his teasing words, I grabbed my phone once more and blocked his number.

When I had eaten and settled into bed withBridgertonspooled up and ready to go, I had a moment of madness. I was convinced that I was totally deranged and only heavy medication would help me.

I had lost my ever-loving mind and there was no finding it.

I unlocked my phone and unblocked him.

5

RHYS

After the mental chaos brought on by Hurricane Callum that week, I did nothing but get lost in my epically overactive thoughts all weekend long. No matter what I did or how I tried to distract myself, my thoughts constantly veered back to me and Hawk in that classroom. What he did had permeated my brain on a cellular level and as much as I tried to look back on that moment with horror and disgust, I remembered only heat and need. The memories of it coupled with Hawk's warning that it would happen again had me stroking my cock in bed for the next three nights.

And each time left me feeling dirty and wondering if something was seriously wrong with me. Obviously there was because I was still getting off to that lunatic.

I might as well turn on a Jeffrey Dahmer documentary and have a good yank. It'll be like psycho porn.

It wasn't normal. None of it was normal. I shouldn't have been thinking about that day with anything less than abject loathing. A normal person would have felt violated by what Cal had done, in a public place no less. But not me. All I kept thinking about was what he could possibly do to make me beg for it…and how likely it was that I would.

After intense reflection and another regrettable orgasm, I concluded that my lack of sexual activity in recent months had to bethe contributing factor. That was it! I just hadn't been properly tending to my needs as a sexual being. It made perfect biological sense that I craved the release that Hawk had brought me. Clearly masturbation hadn't been cutting it for me. I didn't say no because my body had been deprived for too long and I was at my limit. It didn't need to mean anything more than that.

Problem identified, analyzed, and solved! Hah!

However, not even science could adequately explain the sheer idiocy of the decision to unblock Hawk and respond to his text on Monday morning. Though somewhere in the midst of my Saturday shame spiral, I had decided to fix his contact name in my phone.

Miscreant

Morning, Sweetness. Did you dream about me this weekend? Any of them end wet?

Me

Don’t know. Does puking qualify it as a wet dream?

Miscreant

Ahh, so you did dream about me. Had a feeling. I bet it was a hot one.

Me

I envy every person who hasn’t met you.

Miscreant

Aww. Missed you too, pumpkin.

So what’s on your agenda today? Classes? Studying? A little corrective chat with my coach?

Me

Tetanus shot.

Have to be prepared for the next rabid Hawk attack.

---