Page 60 of Unforgivable

It was a beautiful fantasy while it lasted, but freaks like me didn't land guys like him. I wasn't enough for him to try.

You weren't even enough for Connor and he was your best friend. What ever made you think you'd be enough for UT Lacrosse god Callum Hawkins?

That bitter thought sent me off into a restless sleep that ended when I heard Micah moving around in the living room. A few minutes later, the front door closed and a text popped up on my phone.

Micah

I'm running some errands, but I'll bring back lunch. Text if you need anything.

I wasn't sure if Micah had heard my meltdown through the night, and part of me prayed he hadn't. It wasn't something I wanted to hide from him, but I wasn't in any shape to discuss the mess that was my life right then. I needed to give it a few days…or months. Months sounded good.

The morning was spent curled up on the couch in my pajamas watchingCall Me By Your Namebecause, let's be real, I was deep in the wallowing stage. Might as well give into it. Plus it was easier to focus on Elio's heartache rather than my own.

Just as I got to the grotesquely erotic peach scene, a knock came from the front door. I frowned and whined inwardly at the disruption in my pity party, and I briefly considered ignoring whoever it was. It was probably a delivery anyway. When the knock sounded again, I grumbled to myself and shuffled to the door.

There are few things in this world as underrated as the peep hole. I discovered that rather quickly when I swung open the door without checking, only to be met with an utterly miserable Callum Hawkins.

Lesson for life: Always check the dang peephole.

Neither of us spoke or made a sound, simply staring at each other while pain and regret swirled heavily in the air around us. I must have imagined a hundred things I would say to him as I wept into my pillow last night, but all of them hovered uselessly in my head since it felt impossible to speak. I was having difficulty believing he was really there and was partially convinced he was an apparition conjured by my broken psyche to torture me.

I had a good imagination, yet even I didn't think I was able to imagine him in such vivid detail with his eyes bloodshot, hair unkempt, dark circles visible, and anguish etched into every line of his lovely face. Even in sadness, he was beautiful. My dark prince.

No. Not a prince. A villain. And no longer mine.

“Hey, violet eyes,” he croaked, and I swear my heart pounded faster in response. I was disgusted with my body for still reacting to him like that. What right did he have to make my pulse race or my heart beat unsteadily? Of course, it didn't change the fact that he did. With my luck, he probably always would.

“You shouldn't have come here. I got the message last night. We don't have anything to say to each other,” I muttered. I tried to close the door, but Cal's hand smacked against the wood, holding it open.

“I have a lot to say,” Cal said pleadingly. “I know that I fucked upand you don't owe me anything, but please…pleasegive me five minutes.”

Resentment burned hot in my chest. “I'm shocked you're out of bed this early. Wasn't he able to keep your interest up?” I scowled, unable to stop the jealousy lacing my tone. Cal's forehead crumpled in a bemused look.

“What the hell are you talking about? Who's he?” he asked. His fabricated confusion ignited my anger.

“Don't tell me you've already forgotten his name. Or did you even bother to ask before you rushed him upstairs? In too big of a hurry, I guess,” I spit out, already way over this conversation.

“What do you mean? I didn't take anyone upstairs,” Cal argued, looking genuinely bewildered at my accusation.

“Oh my god, how drunk were you last night? Right after you told me that you were going to find someone else to finish with, I saw you go upstairs myself. Contrary to what you always insinuate, I am smart enough to know what goes on on the second floor of a party. Ugh, I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's making me sick.Youmake me sick. Why are you even here? Do you just want to drive the knife in further? I mean, what is the point?—”

“Rhys!” Cal interrupted my irritated rambling. “I didn't take anyone upstairs. I went up alone and crashed in one of the guest rooms until this morning. I didn't hook-up with anyone.” The sincerity in his voice and those clear eyes took me aback. I couldn't allow that tiny, flickering hope to take hold that maybe he was telling the truth.

“Why should I believe that after all the heinous things you said to me?” I ground out.

A distraught look crossed his features. “Fuck, I am so sorry! I was such a drunken prick, but I didn't mean anything I said last night. I swear to you with everything I am, Rhys, I didn't sleep with anyone. I haven't been with anyone since I met you! I wouldn't lie to you about this,” Cal exclaimed, and I could barely hold eye contact. That piercing gaze of his was too much, weakening my resolve with each second.

“So I'm supposed to say all's forgiven just because you managed to keep it in your pants? Honestly, why bother? We're not together, so you don't owe me anything. According to you, we're nothing to each other,” I replied bitterly.

“That's not true, damn it. I owe you everything,” he said firmly. “You have been the only person who's cared enough to really know me,that hasn't shied away from all the shit I carry. And you were right. I feel safe with you. Besides being on a Lacrosse field, I'm never happier than when I'm hanging out with you. Jesus, I check my phone every morning hoping to see a text from you and hate when there's not one. That is not shit I do with anyone else, Rhys! I was the biggest fucking asshole to you for ever saying that you didn't matter to me. You…” Cal choked on the last word, breaking eye contact as he gathered himself. I fought like heck to breathe normally and not let my eyes mist in front of him. I couldn't let his sweet words now make me forget all that happened between us in that boat house.

Cal let out a deep breath, swinging his face back up to meet mine. “You have no idea how sorry I am for how much I hurt you last night.”

“There's no need to repeat your apology. I ignored it just fine the first time,” I replied icily, bargaining with myself to just stay strong a little longer. He'd be gone soon and I could get on with my life.

“Fuck Rhys, please don't give up on me,” he said, his gaze pleading. “Nothing excuses what I did to you at the party, but you have to understand I didn't mean any of it. I was fucking lost when I heard my scholarship was revoked, thinking I'd have to leave school and my life would be ruined. I was pissed and scared, and I stupidly blamed you for it because I let my temper get the best of me again. I was so goddamn wrong because not only was it not your fault, but if you hadn't made that complaint in the first place, we never would have met. And I could never regret meeting you, Rhys.”

“Well, that makes one of us,” I whispered. Cal's face fell and his eyes dimmed, a glassy sheen washing over them.

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