Page 50 of Unforgivable

His pupils widened and his hands slowed their gentle stroking on my cheeks, shaking the tiniest bit against my skin. I tested my limbs again, bringing my hand up to grab one of his and hold it there. I saw Rhys take a deep breath in and instinctually, my lungs inflated with his. His lips curved ever so slightly, and mine raised to match. It was as if his body was tied to mine in that moment, pulling my strings like a willing puppet.

“You're okay now. You got through it. I'm so proud of you,” Rhys praised, his eyes shining with sincerity.

In an instant, it all became too much. His hands were too warm, his body too close, his scent too overwhelming. This wasn't okay. I couldn't do this. No one had ever seen me like that before and my stomach twisted at the thought of Rhys seeing me lose control like that.

My head told me logically that Rhys was safe, that he'd never judge me. He'd been a rock for me last night, a port in a storm I had gotten lost in for years. I knew I could trust him with my vulnerability, but I just felt…weak.

Useless.

Broken.

I needed to get out before I said or did something I couldn't take back. My mind was a jumble of violent images and fucked up emotions, and the last thing I wanted was to take it out on him.

“I need to go home,” I muttered, stumbling to my feet and looking around for my phone and keys.

“Wait, you don't have to leave so fast. You just had a panic attack, maybe you should sit down and take it easy first?” Rhys said, but it came out more like a question. I could feel his gaze hot on my face as I gathered my things. I couldn't look at him. It was too much. I felt too much with him.

“I'm fine,” I ground out, heading for the door. I heard him follow behind me and I wanted to snap at him to leave me alone, but he didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve to put up with a…mistakelike me.

“Cal, don't run away from me now. I'm your friend! Let me help you,” Rhys pleaded, that melodic voice of his wrapping around me like a silky vice, soft and suffocating all at once.

“I don't need help. I just want to go home.” Why wouldn't he let me leave? Why was he making it so hard to walk away from him?

He grabbed my bicep and I whipped around angrily, ready to lay into him when my patience broke. Instead, I saw the concern coloring his face and all the anger I had melted away. When was the last time someone had cared about me this much? Had even wanted to help me in any way?

I had wanted to be Rhys' nightmare, but he was a dream I didn't want to wake from. One where I was cared for and wanted. It was everything I wanted and yet I didn't know how to handle it.

“Thank you for last night,” I said gently, pulling my arm from his grip. “It meant more than you know.”

I saw the disappointment written on his face and my stomach churned. I leaned forward, brushing my lips against his forehead and inhaling that sweet scent of his that calmed something inside me.Coconut. That's what he smells like…coconut and summer.

I ducked out of the apartment before I could see anything else cross that expressive face of his. I was all over the place and didn't know how to rein myself in. On top of that, the panic attack had left me physically exhausted and all I could think of was diving into my bed and staying there for days.

My pocket vibrated and I pulled out my phone, too tired to think about checking the caller ID.

“Hello?” I asked tiredly.

“Hey, Hawk. You alright, man? You didn't come home last night,” Griffin asked across the line.

“I'm good, Griff. Heading home now.”

“Cool,” he responded, but there was an awkward tension in his voice that I couldn't figure out. “Hey, have you paid your half of the rent for this month yet?”

I froze in place, wondering where the question had come from. “Uhh yeah, I should have. It comes out of my account automatically. Why?”

Griff let out a strained sigh that ratcheted up my anxiety. “We got an email from the building manager saying your half hasn't gonethrough. We got hit with a late fee. Maybe check your bank and make sure nothing went wrong with the payment?” he suggested.

My blood ran cold and for the second time that morning, panic started to rise in my chest. “Wait, that's not possible. I've never had a problem with my payments before.”

“Look, check your bank just to be sure. I'm sure it was just a mess up,” Griff reasoned. Something told me it wasn't a simple mess up, and his reassurances did nothing to calm me.

“Yeah, maybe. Listen, I gotta go. I'll take care of it though. Thanks Griff,” I replied before hanging up. I logged onto my bank app quickly, praying I'd find the magic numbers that told me I wasn't screwed and had plenty of money for rent.

That's not what I found though. The life insurance payment hadn't processed that month and I was nearly overdrawn on my account. My heart rate surged and my palms grew clammy. That wasn't possible. That money came through each month without fail.

There was only one person who I could think to call who might have answers. With trembling fingers, I called my Uncle Jack. He had helped set everything up when I knew I'd be getting life insurance payouts after my mom passed, so maybe he'd know what to do.

The phone rang and rang while my nerves continued to spin out of control. Finally someone answered, but it wasn't who I expected.

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