Page 24 of Inevitable

“Yes, I'm at a concert with Micah and his roommate. They invited me last night.”

“Well. Nice to see where your priorities really are, Bastian. I'll see you later,” she snarled before hanging up on me. Whatever, I was thankful to be done with the fruitless conversation.

I pocketed my phone and made my way back to the dance floor. Deja vu smacked me upside the head when I lost track of Micah and could no longer see him amongst the throng of people dancing. I went to Rhys and spoke into his ear so he could hear me, asking where Micah had gone. I could barely discern what he was saying, but I caught the words “gone” and “drink”, so I turned and headed for the bar. A nauseous feeling swept through me, foreboding in its potency. It was the feeling I had been fighting off since Rhys mentioned this damned concert last night, and it edged its way to the forefront of my mind.

I heard a laugh that I would recognize out of a thousand others, one that tugged at my heart, aching in its familiarity. I pivoted my head to the right and caught sight of Micah inches from a sleekly dressed, dark haired man. He was facing Micah directly, talking with him in anovertly flirtatious way. What's worse was that Micah seemed to be returning his enthusiasm.

I felt sick to my stomach, the nausea that was only a whisper moments ago now an inferno burning me alive from the inside. I wrestled with myself to look away and leave Micah to the man who was clearly interested in him, but nothing short of death could rip my gaze away from my best friend. My blood was on fire with rage and envy, and I used every bit of strength I had not to stride over and smash that asshole's face against the bar top and pry Micah away from him. I was suffocating, unable to move or breathe as the one thing I feared happening tonight unfolded in front of my tormented eyes.What the fuck is wrong with me? Am I so selfish that I would deprive Micah of a chance at happiness when I can't have him for myself?

I knew I couldn't be selfish where he was concerned. In a painful moment of clarity, I admitted to myself just how far gone for him I was, how much of my heart he possessed. I had to walk away now before I did something I would regret and that would inevitably hurt Micah.

Mid-talk, Micah's head swerved my direction and his eyes snapped to mine. His eyebrows crashed together in worry, obviously seeing the irritation scrawled across my face. He looked so concerned and upset that it tore through me on a visceral level. Before I could let my emotions run away with me and propel me to him, I turned my back and headed for the exit, wishing more than anything I didn't have to walk away from him.

*****

The Uber I called to pick me up dropped me off at my apartment ten minutes later, and I trudged up the stairs to the front entrance, hitting the button for the elevator once I was inside. As the elevator opened at my floor and I walked down the hall with my eyes downcast, movement in my periphery caught my attention. I looked up and saw Ainsley perched against my door, arms crossed over her chest.

Irritation flooded my system. “What are you doing here, Ainsley?” I asked, annoyance and boredom leeched into my tone.

Her head tilted to the side just slightly, narrowing her gaze at me like she was working out a problem in her head. “How was the concert?”

“Is that really what you came here to ask me? If that's the case, we can chat about it tomorrow. I'm tired and I just want to go to bed,” I retorted. She followed close behind me as I walked into my place, knowing full well I couldn't exactly shut the door in her face. I kicked off my shoes and leaned against the kitchen island facing her, my handsin my pockets.

“Seriously, what do you want Ainsley? It's late and our talk earlier didn't exactly go well.”

“I want to know why you've been ignoring me the last several days. I'm not stupid. You've been pulling away from me for a while, and it all seemed to start when Micah showed up that day. Since then, you've barely talked to me, never seem to have time for me, and we haven't slept together in months. What fucking gives?” Ainsley asked, her tone dripping with ice.

I sighed deeply, barely having enough energy to stand there let alone argue with her about that shit. “Ains, I've told you, I've been stressed and not really in the mood for anything. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings and I'm sorry if I have, but please cut me some slack.”

“Baby, if that's the case then let me do something to make you feel better,” she purred, making her way over to me. Her hands gripped my waist and moved toward my belt. “You don't even have to do anything. I'll do all the work and make you feel so good,” she said seductively.

“Ainsley, seriously, I'm not in the mood,” I reasoned, trying my best to gently move her hands away so I didn't rip them off me and hurt her. Except Ainsley was determined and became more aggressive in her pursuit, managing to get my belt unbuckled and her hand on my zipper.

“Ains, stop!” I told her more firmly. “But why?” she whined, her hands trying to pull down the metal teeth.

“BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU!” I shouted, finally losing my temper and pulling away from her. She stumbled back, stunned at my outburst with her wide, blue eyes on mine.

“Don't you fucking get it? The only reason we've been together is because our fathers orchestrated it all, and I thought you were a nice, sweet girl, so I gave it a chance, but this isn't working! I'm not the man for you!” I barked at her. I hadn't wanted to lose it on her, but enough was enough.

She stood there for several seconds, not saying anything and just staring at me like she was processing everything I had said. After an interminably long silence, her face shuttered and a cold mask fell over her features. I braced myself for her reaction, feeling like shit for being so harsh with her.

“You remember what I said about making the right choice?” she paused, allowing her words to sink in. “You're about to find out just how much you'll regret it if you try to end things with me.”

Wanting to have the last word, she pivoted and stormed out of my apartment, slamming the door closed behind her. Exhaustion and frustration hit me like a bus when I walked into my bedroom and felldown onto my bed, sleep claiming me within minutes. The last thing I saw behind my eyelids before I succumbed was Micah's beautiful, smiling face.

*****

A loud ringing woke me up from a deep sleep and I pried my eyes open, trying to identify the source of the noise. Groggily, I realized that it was my cell phone and grabbed it off my bedside table. When I saw the word “Dad” scroll across the screen, I groaned in annoyance and ignored the call.

A minute later, the phone lit up again and I ignored it just as before. I picked it up to see just how many times he'd called already, noting that I now had five missed calls and eight unread text messages from him.

In my foggy, sleepy state, I almost missed the single text that I had from Micah, timestamped from several hours ago. He must have texted me after I left the concert. Opening it, I read the words that sliced through me.

M&M:Hey BB, are you okay? I saw you walk out and got worried. I'm sorry if I did anything to make you angry…please just let me know you got home safe. Love you.

I hated that I made him think he did anything wrong when the truth was I was just a jealous piece of shit. He deserved to go out and live his life, find a guy who would worship the ground he walked on, and love him with an open, loud heart. I wish more than anything I could be that man, but I had too much baggage and cowardice that kept me from him.

I texted him back, not wanting him to worry more.

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