Page 20 of Inevitable

“Sooo, are you wishing he was your boyfriend? Because you are bright red right now and I'm picking up some vibes,” Rhys teased.

Did I say I liked Rhys?…Because I don't. Dude is annoyingly observant. Either that or I'm just way too obvious…okay, it's definitely that one.

“Ugh, it's just…complicated. He's been my best friend for almost ten years, and we used to be together all the time before college. We've definitely got some…attachment issues. I actually transferred to UT because of him, but something happened right after I got here and I took off for the summer. Right now, we're just going through a rough patch, but it's getting better. Or at least I think it is…” I muttered, unable to stop the words from coming. It's like Rhys had magical powers that unlocked the flood gates to my brain and had me spilling my guts to him.

Okay Rhysie boy, are you a good witch or a bad witch?…

Evidently I had given Rhys an information overload because his eyes grew impossibly wide and he stared at me in stunned silence for a second. I couldn't blame him. I sounded like a hot ass mess.

“Ooookay…so let me see if I get this right: you've been in love with him for a while, he's straight and not into you that way. You've been finding it hard to find the balance between being his best friend and not wanting to jump his bones twenty-four seven, and now it's causing problems between you two. How did I do?” Rhys inquired, as my mouth popped open and I blinked stupidly at him.

“Uh…yeah. Yeah, that's the gist of it. How the fuck did you figure all that out in two seconds? If you're gonna Jedi mind trick me like that, at least give me warning because I'm in a fragile state and liable to break down if you're gonna draw out all my less-than-awesome life choices.”

Rhys laughed, clearly not put off by my patheticness or the epic saga of shit that was my unrequited love for Bash.

“Nope, not a Jedi. It just made the most sense seeing how you responded when I thought he was your boyfriend and then the little bit of back story you gave me. You know you're not the first person to fall in love with your best friend, right? I know it probably sucks, but it's actually pretty common. Does he know how you feel about him?”

I let out a deep sigh, not having anticipated getting into this when I got home earlier, much less to a guy who was basically a stranger to me. However, there was something soothing and inviting about Rhys' presence and I found that I didn't actually mind telling him this stuff. I hadn't had this easy of a connection with anyone except…Bash.

“No…he doesn't know,” I said, opting for the Cliff notes version. “He actually has a girlfriend that I just found out about, and it's been throwing me off. It's been hard to separate my friendly feelings from my romantic feelings, but I know it's gotta happen soon or I'm going to end up totally screwing up our friendship. Any advice for me, Yoda?”

He chuckled and gave me a look that wasn't tinged with pity, but empathy. “Unfortunately not. At least nothing you probably haven't already tried. All I can say is it'll take time, and when you find it getting hard to take, I'm here if you need to talk. You can clearly see I like to since I basically pigeonholed you into giving up your life story because I ran off at the mouth! Either way, I'm here if you need a friend.”

Okay…maybe I do like Jedi Rhys after all. He's growing on me.

I gave him a small, thankful smile and nodded. “Thank you, Rhys. I really appreciate that.” Rhys smiled back and returned to unpacking his boxes. As he was stacking some ceramic plates on the counter, heturned back and asked “So you want to order some food? I'm craving the heck out of Chinese.”

I smiled wide and whipped out my phone. “Now you're talking, Evans. Coming right up!”

Maybe Rhys would end up being a better friend than I had originally thought. Maybe even the kind of friend I needed.

*****

Bastian

When Micah told me that he was changing his plans for the summer to spend it in Dallas, it was like a kick to the stomach. No matter what he said, I knew I was the actual reason for his abrupt decision to leave and spend his summer four hundred miles away. I knew that lying to him about Ainsley would have serious repercussions, but I had hoped I hadn't driven him away after I explained and apologized at his apartment. Clearly, I was wrong.

Did some part of me naively and selfishly think that Micah would simply forgive me and we'd jump back into how we used to be like nothing had happened? Yeah, I did. I think at this point it was an irrefutable fact that I was a colossal, idiotic, selfish asshole. I didn't deserve Micah's forgiveness, especially for the lies I told of which he was still unaware, but I would do every fucking thing in my power to earn it if I could. Micah was worth it.

The summer held no interest for me without my best friend, and most of that had to do with how we had left things before he took off. If Micah and I had been on good terms, I know I would have been fine and found ways to pass the time without him, maybe hanging with other friends near campus. As it stood, I was having a hard time being patient and giving Micah the space he obviously needed from me because space was the very last thing I wanted from him.

I might have overdone it on the communication when he first left. It wasn't exactly my intention to irritate him to death with constant texts, but it was a compulsion I couldn't control. In my head, if I kept bombarding him with messages, then in some small way I was still connected to him. If he didn't completely ignore me, then it was a sign that we could get better and go back to normal eventually.

Every time Micah read my texts and didn't reply, another small part of me withered away, feeling the disconnect between us ten times over. Things had never been this fractured with us, and I didn't know how to cope with it.

One week in of Micah only responding to me minimally, I knew that I needed to pull back or I'd potentially make things worse. It was so fucking hard since I was accustomed to talking to him throughout entire days, but then I remembered that I had fucked everything up, starting with the lies about Ainsley and ending with the hookup that he believed I didn't remember. He deserved to have time alone without me intruding on every minute of his days. The disgust I had in myself grew exponentially, and it wasn't anything I could fix because there was no way I could come clean to Micah. Not now, perhaps not ever.

Some time into June, Micah had asked me if we could Facetime one night. I was so shocked and thankful that I came very close to breaking down like the pathetic wretch I was, but I held it together. The first view of Micah's sweet face on my screen was like a balm on my wounded heart, and it sucked the air from my lungs. It might have been wishful thinking on my part, but Micah looked just as awed and eager to see me. It didn't take too long before we slipped into our old routine like we had when he was living in Dallas. After that first Facetime session, I took my first, full breath since he had left me standing in my hallway with my heart in tatters. It was the first time in weeks that I believed we would be okay.

Ainsley was a whole other problem I was dealing with simultaneously. Right after Micah had left, I had been able to dodge her attempts at coming over for a “night in” because I knew without a doubt she was wanting to have sex. I had promised myself that after what happened with Micah, I wouldn't cross that line with her again, but it was becoming difficult when she was persistent in her efforts to get me alone. I could only put her off so much before she caused another scene and next time, it would most likely get back to my dad. Her subtle threat the day Micah met her had left me certain that she was complicit in my dad's schemes, and I didn't want to give her any ammunition to share with him.

She was scheduled to leave for a European cruise with her mom for the summer, and she pressured me for a date night right before she left. It seemed like it was necessary to give her one, innocent date to keep her off my back for a while, so I told her I'd take her to dinner and a movie. She tried to argue for a movie night in, but I told her that it was my way or nothing. She didn't like my answer one bit, but she caved and took what she could get. During dinner, she kept calling me every pet name under the sun and reaching for my hand across the table. In the dark of the movie theater, her wandering hands returned full force as she continually tried to grope me everywhere she could reach. I would just calmly grab her hand for a little bit, and then move it back to her side.

The worst part was when she slunk off her seat onto the ground between my feet, kneeling in front of me. I couldn't exactly shout out in the movie theater for her to stop, so it took my repeated attempts at shoving her hands away before she got the hint and angrily climbed back into her seat. I inwardly breathed the biggest sigh of relief that she had stopped, but I knew there'd be hell to pay for turning her down.

To my great surprise, Ainsley was quiet and polite the rest of the time and she gave me a simple kiss on the cheek when I dropped her off at her dorm. I knew better than to trust her reaction completely, but after a couple of days without any blow-ups or calls from my dad demanding to know what I did, I finally relaxed and just took it as a win.

I knew I couldn't avoid Ainsley's advances forever, especially because I couldn't break up with her without incurring the wrath of my father, but I was committed to remaining as faithful to Micah as I could. I owed him that and so much more. He owned part of my heart, and I couldn't keep being with Ainsley in that way after what I had shared with him. It couldn't ever compare.

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