Page 86 of A Dawn Of Blood

“How hard is it for you to pretend to believe in all those things you seem to be preaching?”

“What things?”

“Kindness, integrity,love,” I finish on a mocking tone.

She squints at me. “You’re making it sound as if those are all made-up things.”

“In a way, they are. So you’re trying to tell me you truly believe in them?”

“I do, but I’ll take a wild guess and sayyoudon’t.”

“The only thing the existence of which can’t be denied is pain. Everything else is merely a construct built to deal with it.”

Her head tilted, she just looks at me for a second. “Yes, I think I know a thing or two about pain, but just as there’s no night without day, there’s no pain without the absence of pain.”

I scoff. “What,happiness?”

“Yes.”

“And what wouldthatbe?”

She shrugs. “Well, the longer I live, the more I think it basically always comes down to forging connections with others.”

Ah. If this is something she truly believes, then it’s a weakness. “Connections?” I ask. “What, with those people back in the castle?”

“Notthosepeople,mypeople. Becausethat’swhat they are. We have our disagreements, but there’s nothing I wouldn’t do forthemand nothing they wouldn’t do forme.”

She takes a step closer, giving me a smile that for some reason seems sad. I take a step back. “Is there no oneyoucall your own? Is that why you’re finding the very concept so incredulous?”

The words sting, but I shrug them off. I smirk. “You know the funny thing about connection?”

“Please do tell.”

I take a step closer. “There are so many perspectives from which its existence can be outright denied. You could even argue it could be denied from every single perspective there is.”

“Really?” she drawls.

“Yes. There’s the perspective of basic physics to start,” I say as I walk around her. “For example, did you know that when you touch something, you onlythinkyou’ve touched it?” My eyes dart to her hair. “No matter how close you get, there will always remain an empty space — however infinitesimally small — between the thing that is you and the thing that you’re touching.”

My fingers itch to touch her hair so I turn around, fixing my eyes on the blackness between the trees around us. “Then there’s the perspective of the human race as a whole. In a way, history has been all about trying to bridge the countless gaps separating individual groups, but no matter how much time passes, howmuch knowledge we accumulate or how much money we throw at the problem, everything we ever attempt… fails.”

I turn back around, finding her looking at me with interest in her eyes. I get a little closer, pointing at her head. “And then, then there’s the perspective of the individual mind. There’s the irrefutable fact that — even with Mind Magic — you can never really know anyone. Do you know why?”

“Why?”

“Because you can’t even know yourself. You can never know with certainty what you’d do in a situation until you’ve found yourself in it. So saying there’s nothingyour peoplewouldn’t do for you only means there hasn’t yet arisen a situation that would make them betray you. Doesn’t mean there isn’t one that would. Which, in turn, means you can never fully trust them.”

She raises her eyebrows at me. “Ah.” She nods softly. “You believe my way of thinking comes from a place of naivete.”

“And of course,youdon’t, do you?” I ask mockingly.

She clicks her tongue. “Connection with other human beings, it’s notoptional, Cain. We’re built to need it. And yes, it requires trust that can be betrayed at any given point. The people who choose to give it, sure, sometimes they do it simply because they’re too naive not to. But sometimes they do it simply because they’re brave enough.”

I blow out a laugh. “Let me guess. You’re among the latter. What a flattering image of yourself you seem to have.”

“Even if I did,” she challenges softly, “why would that bother you?”

“Bother me?” I echo. Then I find myself standing very close to her without recalling getting there, my fists clenching. “It doesn’t bother me at all. The only reason I’m even talking to you is because you put a collar on me.”

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