Page 138 of A Dusk Of Stars

It’s so strange to me right now, this thing between us, that I immediately shift my focus back onto Alaric, trying to break the tension by smiling and demanding, “And since when areyousuch a mother hen?”

It surprises me, when the smile slides off his face. “Since I spent the night partying while my friend was in mortal danger,” he grumbles and looks away.

“Hey,” I protest, pushing myself up as a frown creases my forehead.

But to my surprise, it’s Raven who keeps comforting him. “We didn’t know what was going on, Alaric. Even Anna understands that,” she says, putting her hand on his. She turns tome. “Don’t you, Anna?”

My eyebrows shoot up. Are they… Then I remember to nod, doing it so vigorously, I make my headache worse. “Of course I do. In fact,” I continue in a gentle but warning tone, “I expressly forbid you from ever again entertaining a single thought like that.”

Alaric grumbles, but then Raven presses a kiss to his cheek, making him go from sullen straight to beaming.

“Alright then,” he says, warmth spreading through my chest as I watch them go back to playing cards.

Then it hits me. “Hey,” I protest, making them both turn to look at me again, “you’ve been cooped up in here for the past two days. I demand you go out, grab something to eat and maybe start packing, like, right now. You have a whole summer ahead of you.”

They exchange a look, but then they smile and come to give me hugs. The smiles they throw Jericho on their way out are a little tense, but warm.

I watch them close the door, delaying tearing my eyes away from it for another moment.

It pains me because all I really want is for him to go back to holding me, but at the same time…

I’m lost. I’m shocked. I’m mad.

Finally, I turn to look at him and I ask, “Could you leave for a bit too, maybe grab something to eat? I just need a couple of hours to myself.”

For a moment, he keeps sitting there, things visibly at war in his head. Then he gets up, says, “Of course,” and leaves the room.

***

I let my feet take me out of the harsh June sun and into the soft, bright shadows of the Lycan Forest, in the direction of the spot where I completed my first ritual.

I need solitude, so I can unwrap all the conflicting feelings about that moment back in the cave when the bond between us snapped in place. I don’t know why then and not before. Maybe because there was something more real in that moment — when we both thought the other could die — than there was in any moment that led to it.

Whatever the reason for it finally clicking, it was in that moment that I learnedtwothings. One, Lorcan sure as hell wasn’t lying when he said that Jericho Bane was my mate.

Two, unlikeme, Jericho Bane himself wasn’t in the least surprised by the fact.

What that does to me is make me feel... confusion, shock and anger all at once. So right now, it doesn’t really matter to me that I know for sure hedidn’tspend the last year trying to sabotage me so I wouldn’t awaken my powers. He did something worse,or maybe itfeelsworse because of the kind of bond we now share, but the result is the same.

It’s way before I reach the clearing where he lit the fire that night that I sense him. It makes me let out a soft scoff — how much itdoesn’tsurprise me that my feet would take me straight back to him less than half an hour after I told him I needed space.

I find him getting off the tree stump he was sitting on, his eyes coming to land on me and sucking me in, just like they did the first time I ever saw them.

For a second, we just stand there, looking at each other. It makes me feel exactly how sure my wolf is about this, but me…

“Why here?” I ask.

He glances around and then turns his eyes back onto me. “It was the first time I saw you be yourself. I feel connected to you here.”

The words make me warm around the heart, which only makes things worse. I contemplate leaving and coming back after I’ve thought about it, like I planned to.

Then, my jaw starting to clench, I realize what it is that Ireallyneed. What I really need is to get him to talk and see exactly when and how the asshole will mentionnever telling me we were goddamn mates.

“This bond thing,” I say, “it doesn’t mean we should be together.”

It surprises me, when he just keeps standing there, all intense yet soft somehow.

Frowning, I start to pace, feeling his eyes on me. “We have completely opposing interests, ambitions, worldviews…”

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