I don’t care. I’ll be trying it regardless.
Chapter 16
There’s a thick blanket of snow covering the grounds outside and despite there still being three whole weeks until Winter Solstice, the Common Room chatter that’s still ringing in my ears is positively festive.
I close the door to my room behind me and let out a sigh. Time to try a ritual one more time.
I get the stuff from my desk drawer and go sit on my bed. This is something best done under the sky, preferably when it’s dusk and the moon and stars are just beginning to show.
But I haven’t been well ever since the mid-term exam. This whole thing with being a shifter seems to be making things surface, things from my past that I’ve worked very hard on putting behind me. So I’m feeling raw and tense all the time, and these past two weeks, I’ve been avoiding everyone and skipping classes under the pretense of being sick.
It’s been a relief, especially when it comes to special classes, so much so that I’ve been wondering whether I should justkeep doing it. I mean, I can’t imagine my ‘professor’ having any objections.
Unless I want to blow my cover, it’s not like I can go skipping around the castle grounds doing rituals like nothing’s going on.
It’s tiresome, trying to do these rituals without ever making progress. The chances for the constellations to gift me with a power before I’ve shifted for the first time are next to nothing.
But nothing I’ve done to trigger shifting has worked so far. Maybe getting in touch with the constellations will be the thing that makes a difference.
Here’s to hoping, I think as I start preparing.
Today is the day I have a chance to establish a connection with Scorpio, so it’s a bowl of water I place in front of myself. This is not a constellation you’re advised to have anything to do with before you’ve gotten in touch with one of the gentler ones — Scorpio is not just powerful, it’s known for its dark side as well. Seductive. Manipulative. Destructive.
Unfortunately, it’s the only one I feel myself being drawn to. It’s not like I have endless opportunities before the first-term exam, and if I don’t pass it… Let’s just say it would take a miracle to prevent me from having to repeat the first year.
I take the candles as well, which are supposed to help me get into the right mindset. I place them around the bowl and light them up, so their flames are reflecting off the surface of the water in front of me.
I clasp my hands in my lap and I fix my eyes on the way the fire flickers in the water.
“Hello?”
Nothing.
“You know, I really need something to happen today,” I say in a hushed voice.
Silence.
“If it doesn’t happen, then how am I supposed to think that this is not some sick joke?”
There’s another moment of silence that angers me.
“Really? So I’m actually supposed to be a shifter with no fucking powers?”
Silence.
Now feeling both angry and spiteful, I push even harder. I close my eyes shut and I push until images start swarming inside me — the book that chose me, the symbol on the cover of that book. Despite this dread building inside me, I keep pushing until I feel something break inside me.
It’s a ping from my phone that distracts me.
I let out a frustrated groan and knock the bowl over, spilling all the water.
I grab the phone and see it’s a text from Alaric. “You know, Anna, if you blow us off one more time… I’m afraid we’ll have to eat those nachos you left in Raven’s room.”
I drop my phone back on the bed and run my palms down my face.
Normal, why can’t you be normal about this?
“Be there in ten,” I type a reply, knowing they're in the Junkyard and deciding to say fuck it to hiding in my room like this.