Page 116 of A Dusk Of Stars

But it’s his nightmares that will get to me first. He knows it. That’s why I always hear his laugh.

***

When I come to, my ears are ringing and my entire body is in pain.

“Should we take you to the hospital?” I hear Alaric ask, his voice drifting to me as if through water.

I shake my head because I don’t want my friends to worry about me, but I can’t help staying silent, my mind buzzing in search of the source of this cold dread that’s flooding me.

Alaric takes me by the upper arm, helps me up and starts frantically searching for something on the web. Swaying a little, I blink at him and Raven, the dread intensifying when I see their awfully pale, downright scared faces.

”I think we should at least go to your room and have you lie down, Anna,” Raven says.

It’s then that I register the eerily still crowd all around us, my eyes following the gazes all the way up to the screens and my blood curdling when I finally remember what it is that happened before I had the vision.

My breath hitches. No, it can’t be right.

“Seems to be true,” I hear Alaric say, looking up to see him lowering his phone with a grave look in his eyes. “I literally can’t find a channel that’snotreporting on it.”

“An entire city,” I whisper, my eyes coming to fix on the polished stone beneath my feet. “Everyone dead. Just like that.”

A violent pang of guilt shoots through me, and I have to force myself not to give in to the temptation to just fall apart right then and there.

Feeling Raven’s delicate hand wrap around my upper arm in consolation, I give it a squeeze, but I don’t say the bit where I conclude it’s my fault. I can’t. There’s no point. England was enough to make me almost break to pieces and give up on everything, and that was a village with a total of thirteen people.

So no, I’m not letting my stupid emotions get the better of methistime, because who knows what kind of breakdown I could experience.

“Khm khm.”

I look up only to find Raven and Alaric staring at me. “Should we call for a meeting?” Alaric asks. “If ever we needed to discuss something…”

The suggestion makes me remember the other night, when I told Serra I’d be taking a break from all this Aurora crap, just after I tried to do the ritual and ended up getting in a fight with my wolf.

“You know what?” I ask. “Would you just let me doonething first? I’ll text you when I’m done.”

They nod and watch me turn on my heel, heading straight for the Elevator.

Serra warned me. She was gentle about it, but she did warn me. And I let myself dismiss the warning because I was… otherwise preoccupied.

In a haze, I go straight to her office and knock on the door, bracing myself for whatever will come.

With concern in her eyes and a phone book in her hands, she opens the door and lets me into a small, modestly furnished round room dominated by a comfy armchair.

“I’m scheduling a meeting with the rest of the Order,” she tells me as she closes the door and comes to face me.

There’s a moment of silence during which we just look at each other. All of a sudden, I feel a sob coming on, and I realize I’m partly here because I want her to tell me this wasn’t my fault.

“Did I do this?” I grit out. “Did I cause it by saying I’d take a break from all this shit? Did I somehow give him more power by giving up?”

She takes me by the upper arm and squeezes it tight. “No, child. I don’t think it works that way.”

It doesn’t make it any better. But it does make the tiniest bit of the pent-up emotions release in the form of a shuddering sigh.

Until she says, “But you may have brought it about by damaging your connection with your wolf.”

Of course. Of course I’d do something stupid and make tons of people die in the process. I have to wall it all out to stop it from crushing me under its weight.

Gritting my teeth, I say, “Let me know when we’ll be having the meeting.”

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