That seems to surprise him. “Why didn’t I?” he echoes pensively. Then he glances around, his lips curling into a sad smile. “Imagine going through life as this sweet, pretty little boy everyone loves having around. Then, one day, all of a sudden, without anything changing within you, you start noticing people averting their eyes, scurrying away from you, obeying you even when your intention is not giving out orders. It turns you hard, makes you start identifying with it, gets you believing that’s all people ever want from you — to be this rock that just gets shit done.”
I don’t want to make him feel like I’m pitying him, but what I really want right now is to give him a hug or something. I’m just about to make a compromise and put my hand on his, when he leans back again and looks away, letting out another bitter laugh. “So when my brother got killed, I left the còmhlan and joined the military. Whenthatdidn’t work out for me, I started a business and just kept making a living out of bossing people around.”
Still softly, I ask, “And how’s that working out for you?”
When he turns to look at me again, he’s slightly gritting his teeth. “You’ve been wiggling your way out of it long enough.Your turn.”
I hesitate. I really don’t want to keep saying stuff, but I also don’t wanthimto stop talking. I let out a sigh, shaking my head. “First time I came to the Academy was on a rare tourist tour,” I start, seeing his ears prick up. “I spent my last money on it. I was, at that moment in time, without a place to live and I seriously considered trying to hide and live with the Academy goblins.” I finish with a laugh that’s only slightly awkward.
“Without a place to live?” he asks, leaning closer with a frown. “As in—”
“Your turn.”
He doesn’t drop it. “Why didn’t you have anywhere to go?”
“What does it matter?”
“You never mention parents, or any kind of family, for that matter.”
Damn it. That’snota place I want to go to right now, but Idofeel the need to offer something in return for everything he’s shared with me. I stare into his eyes for a second, then I just lean to whisper in his ear, “I only changed mylastname. I guess I felt the need to at least keepsomeof myself.”
I feel him tense up. When I pull back, I find him staring at me with such burning intensity, seemingly holding his breath. It takes a moment, but then he demands, “Why’d you do it?”
“Your turn,” I say with an eager smile.
“I asked why’d you do it?” he repeats himself forcefully, his eyes probing me.
The longer I stare into them, the easier it seems to just say it. I shrug. “Maybe there’s someone I have to hide from,” I say simply.
I watch him freeze, something flashing through his eyes. “Who?” he asks, his nostrils starting to flare.
I’m smiling, but the probing is making things surface and that wasnotmy intention. I shake my head to get the images out. “Yourturn,” I say more forcefully.
“No,” he snaps, his chest now heaving. It startles me, when he shifts his eyes, grabs me by the wrist and gets in my face so much, I have to lean back. “You’re telling me who it is and you’re telling menow. Is it an ex?”
I shake my head for no, the voice making my eyes round and my breath catch. I’ve never heard him use it before — so hard and cruel, burrowing into the bones and resonating through them, making heads turn all around us.
The spotlight doesn’t help shift my attention away from his eyes. They’re making me feel more naked than ever before, my mind now relentlessly filling with memories of all the notches I put on the windowsill counting the days until I turned eighteen, of all the looks of hatred my father threw me as he punished me simply for being who I was, of all the rage I felt when I decided I wouldn’t spend another day being a prisoner in his gilded cage, of everything I had to endure the first time he caught me.
It’s all threatening to be put into actual words, so I just keep staring at Bane, who’s waiting frozen with my wrist in his hand, until I finally manage to tear my eyes away from him.
For a moment, he keeps my wrist in his hand. Then he abruptly lets go, stepping away a little and clearing his throat.
The retreat and the tension in his body make my heart sink, especially after what he told me about the way people treat him. So I find myself taking a step closer, giving his shirt a gentle tug and looking up at him with a soft smile. “You said you used to be bait,” I say, wanting for him to relax but still desperate to change the subject. “How do you even go about conning someone?”I shrug. “I mean, it’s not like you can borrow a handbook or something.”
For one long moment, he doesn’t say anything. He just stares at me.
Then he seems to relax, leaning in to explain in a more upbeat voice, “It’s actually very simple.” He glances around the room, making me do the same. “You choose your target, you make an impression, you get them to do whatever it is you want them to do, and you pick the right moment to disappear.”
Disappear... How tempting. Maybe that’s exactly what I need right now.
“Okay,” I say, my eyes sweeping over the room and stopping on an older male vampire sitting in a booth alone. “That guy over there. What would the actual plan be?”
“Plan?” he asks with a scoff. “It’s all improv, Novak.” He leans a little forward, getting real close, and says, “You need to get people to think they’re on the verge of getting what they desire most in this world. And how will you know what they desire most in this world until you start talking to them?”
It’s at that moment that my eyes get drawn back in the direction of the vampire sitting alone. I see how nervously he’s glancing in the direction of this beautiful young woman dancing with a man not too far away from him.
“Talking to them?” I repeat pensively. “I’d think that sometimes you only need to look at them,” I say. I throw Bane this feverish smile and say, “Come on.”