Page 105 of A Dusk Of Stars

“Please,” I hear myself say.

He pulls his fingers out. “You mean, pleasestop?” he demands in a ragged voice. “Because I told you what you have to say to get what you want.”

“No, don’t stop,” I plead, delirious with anticipation, “I’m begging you, Jericho, I need it so bad.”

“Fuck,” he groans just before I feel his tongue on me and his fingers inside me again and he starts taking me over the edge, making the already unbearable tension inside me swell even more, before it snaps and pleasure comes crashing down on me with such intensity, it feels like being shot out of my body to float in boundless space, blissfully empty-headed.

“Such a good girl,” I hear his voice drift to me as if through water. “My perfect little she-wolf.”

As I float, countless stars blossom in the deep deep darkness all around me, slowly spinning around me, some close some far, some cold some warm. It starts dawning on me, the possibility that maybe I don’t need anything but myself for that thing I was worried about before.

Whatever it was.

Chapter 30

It’s with a decadent murmur that I start stirring from sleep. I frown at the absence of sound. Then there’s a violent flutter of butterflies in my stomach when I remember it was in his arms that I fell asleep. But when I reach out my hand to feel for his body, I find nothing.

I fling my eyes open only to see I’m alone in my bed. My heart sinks. Did I imagine the whole thing?

Of course I didn’t. It’s unmistakable, his lingering scent in my bed.

It’s then that I spot the note on my nightstand. I push myself up and grab it.

“I’m letting you sleep in,” it says in his barely legible yet confident handwriting. “Text me when you wake up and we’ll talk training.”

For one long moment, I just look at the note. So formal. So matter of fact. So… Bane.

My breathing turns unsteady when it all comes rushing through the barriers, all the things I’ve spent the whole of yesterday trying to block.

At the meeting, while he was nonchalantly ignoring me, I was obsessing over possible reasons as to why he might be doing that while at the same time drooling over him.

After he cut the meeting short, I never even called him out on this — I was just too busy rushing out of the freezing cold of his indifference and into the comforting warmth of his attention.

Of course, this goes way way back, too. When he helped me with my first gift, it wasn’thimwho initiated anything. I literally crawled on top of him whilehewas probably like, what the hell is this woman doing.

Every single thing that I remember makes my breathing that much shallower.

Still, nothing knocks the air out of my lungs as much, nothing burns as much, nothingrips me apartas much as that thing he said to me yesterday, the words now stuck on a loop inside my head.

Because it's one thing to make me beg for it or even treat me like property during sex — that's just having fun and going with the flow. But I mean…

“You need me, period.” Then, to make it worse, insist on it later.

Bitterness floods my mouth. There are some things you just donotsay to a person unless the intent is to humiliate.

Swept up in a sudden, violent anger, I put my feet down, get off the bed and try to take the bracelet off. When I fail, I make a tiny whip slither out of my finger, I wrap it around the bracelet and snap it in half, watching it fall to the ground.

Then I stomp over to my closet, where I fling the door open to scowl at my reflection in the mirror with the words from the note now ringing in my head.

He wants me to text him when I wake up? The fucking arrogance.

I have no reason whatsoever to text him, simply because I don’t need either him or any of his controlling shit.

Last night, you had a revelation, I tell myself as I keep staring at my reflection. That’s all you’re allowed to think about right now. You’ll go for a little walk and you’ll try to find answers for the ritual.

Fuming but determined, I slam the closet door shut, pull on my shoes, grab my tote and storm out of my room.

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