Page 43 of House of Lilith

So instead of indulging my urge, I search for his mouth to kiss him, telling myself we’re in no rush. After all, we’ll have the rest of our lives to figure this out.

*

It’s with my lips pressed tight that I walk with my cousin down to the Sobbing Lake. It’s just past seven o’clock and the sunlight is slowly fading, leaving growing shadows behind.

Hilde tries to start a conversation, but all I give her are one-word answers. There’s a knot in my throat and I don’t want to talk toanyoneright now, let alone her. I keep imagining coming to greet him and my tongue getting so tied, I end up not saying anything.

We pass the courtyard and catch the first glimpse of the Sobbing Lake, the very sight making my heart plummet into my stomach.

Oh, fucking stop being so nervous, I tell myself as I force one foot in front of the other. He’s invited everyone at the Academy. You’ll say hi, you’ll slink into the shadows and you’ll disappear the first chance you get.

“Look,” Hilde calls, slowing to a stop a few steps before me.

I welcome the distraction, when I follow her finger and see what they’ve done with the place.

The Sobbing Lake is usually a mournful part of the grounds, seldom visited despite House of Ydril nestling on its shore. When they go out for a breath of fresh air, the faes completely ignore it, just like the rest of us. The mermaids that live in it don’t always sing their song, but you don’t want to find yourself within earshot when they do.

So any other year, the lake would be silent and deserted, with just the wind rustling in the reefs and the mist hanging low above the grass, the plateau and the docks that the Academy built for this specific purpose, back in 1847.

But now, now there’s so much life around it, I think as my eyes sweep over the camp. It was the day our guests arrived that the staff got the plateau set up for them. I went to see it, with the rest of the students, and it sure didn’t look bad, especially with the roomy tents placed in circles around the fire pits. But it wasn’t as welcoming as it feels now, with the students buzzing in and out of the tents and hanging out around the fire pits, cooking, drinking and laughing as the sounds of the crickets mix with the soft sounds of music.

“Let’s go,” Hilde says in an excited whisper as she jabs me in the waist with her elbow and keeps walking.

I force myself to focus and I go after her.

Even before we reach the plateau, students from the camp start whizzing past us, yelling out incomprehensible stuff, playing games I don’t know the rules for.

We keep going, Hilde leading us to where the crowd is loudest and thickest, up the rickety stairs and down the plateau to the biggest fire pit.

It’s there that we stop, my eyes scanning the students’ merry, firelit faces. It looks like they’re all waiting for something, but I don’t know what.

The very next second, I hear some of the people opposite me, on the other side of the empty circle around the fire, start to chant, someone letting out a low wolf whistle. And then I see them shuffle, letting someone through.

Howe. I watch him step out of the crowd and onto the empty circle around the fire with a mischievous smile on his face, two members of his pack trailing him with trays of glasses in their hands.

My stomach drops as he starts going around, handing the alcohol out to students who seem thrilled to receive it.

“Oh I like what’s going on here,” I hear Hilde say from my right, but I keep looking at Howe, my heart pounding in my chest.

“No no,” I hear his voice boom, playful but commanding, when one of the Fiáins moves to throw the alcohol back, “not just yet.”

The guy immediately lowers his glass, obediently but happily so.

“I really hope it’s not whiskey,” Hilde says, but I just let out a soft, “Um-hum,” because he’s served everyone to our left and is now headed straight towards us.

Look away, I tell myself, but I can’t tear my eyes away from his face, that grin lighting up his eyes.

So when they finally land onme, as he stops right in front of us, he finds me staring.

Goddamn it, Nyx, get it together.

“Who do we have here?” he drawls as he throws me a little squint. He hands me a glass and says, “Where’s my buddy?”

“Something came up, but he sends his apologies,” I reply flatly, painfully aware of the fact I still haven’t looked away.

“I’ll start to think he doesn’t exist,” he says with a smile that makes my blood run hotter. “But I’m glad you could come.”

And he turns his attention to Hilde, gives her a glass, gets her giggling with his stupid “I just know you’re going to love this,” and keeps going.