Page 195 of House of Lilith

And he takes a deep breath and he says, “You’ll probably say it’s a real dick move, what I’m about to do.”

It makes me quirk an eyebrow.

“Hell, until yesterday,” he continues, “I’d say the same. After all, you did tell me you never wanted to hear another word about this. And it was my sincere intention to respect that.”

He runs a hand over his face and drops his arms to his sides, locking eyes with me again. “But then, yesterday, you almost died, and I found myself in a situation where I wasn’t even allowed to see you. And it made me realize I don’t really give a fuck what you’ll think of my little dick move.”

“Get to the point.”

“Right,” he says, his jaw clenching a little. “So here’s how this will go. You’re going to agree to be with me. I’m not leaving until you do.”

And he just keeps standing there, folding his arms again with sheer determination on his face.

It all makes me let out a bitter laugh. “Please tell me you’re on something.”

“I’ve never been more sober or serious in my life,” he replies, still in that super somber voice. “But I get where you’re coming from. I mean, my behavior this past month…” He pauses to glance away for a second, gritting his teeth. “It was despicable and inexcusable to say the least, and I do understand that it makes you not want to have anything to do with me right now.”

And he takes a step closer, his voice growing softer and more rushed as he says, “But if you only let me, I’d show you how desperately sorry I am, I’d make you see it pains me to even think about it, and I’d prove to you that nothing like that would ever happen again.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” I say with a shake of my head. I fail to stop bitterness from coming through when I say, “I know you never liked Max, but at leasthimI knew.”

To my surprise, he doesn’t protest. “No no, I totally understand,” he says matter-of-factly. “But I already have a solution for that.”

My eyes narrow, he catches that and he looks deeper into them, taking a step closer and pointing a finger at the ground. “Right now, you’re going to start asking me all those questions you want to ask me and I’m going to answer them all as truthfully as possible. If it’s something I’m lying tomyselfabout, I’ll put it aside until I give you the truth and then go back to my lie.” He pushes his chest out a little and adds, “And I realize this might take a while, so I already have everything worked out in case they throw us out of the Academy before you’re done with me.”

“Thought you said you only needed five minutes.”

“Well,” he says with a shrug, “five minutes for the pitch.”

“Here’s your answer then. Not a chance in hell.” And I move to open the door for him, so he can get the fuck out.

“Why the hell not?” he asks as he comes to block my way.

And he’s standing so close, not letting me look away, saying in a low growl, “Tell me so I can fix it.”

“Remember telling me you thought this thing between us is a princess’s temper tantrum?” I find myself asking, starting to fume. “Well, it seems it’s become aplayer’stemper tantrum,” I say with a bitter scoff. I angrily wave a hand. “You can’t let us part as, well,notenemies, because you just can’t take no for an answer, can you? You can’t leave knowing there’s a girl here who’s not still swooning. It’d hurt your pride too much or whatever.”

“You think I’ve never gotten rejected?” he asks as he gets in my face, making me take a step back and turn my eyes away from him. “I take my rejections from girls the way I takeallmy rejections. I say thanks anyway, have yourself a lovely day. I’m a grown man, not a fucking child.”

There’s a moment of silence before he says, “Hey, look at me.”

And I don’t plan on doing it, but I do, finding him staring at me. “You saying no to me isnotthe reason I’m here. I’m here because you’re all I can think about, because nothing matters more than what you think of me, because I’m desperately in love with you. So,” he says as he lets out an angry breath, “anything else I can fix before you start asking the fucking questions already?”

For a second, I just stare at him. “Fine,” I say, making him raise his eyebrows.

And I ask the first thing that comes to mind. “Where did you go when you disappeared for two weeks?”

Chapter 34 - Dahrian

Itmakesatleastsomeof all this built-up fucking tension dissipate, when she finally says, “Fine,” and gives me my first question.

But I’m far from having anything to celebrate, so I force myself to stay focused, and I go to take a seat on the edge of her bed, her eyes closely following me.

“I told you about gáirs, didn’t I?” I start as soon as I sit down, leaning my forearms on my knees and fixing my eyes on her.

She nods, but she just keeps standing there, her arms folded and her eyes narrowed.

But I just let the truth pour out of me, embarrassment and all the other fucking emotions be damned.

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