Page 158 of House of Lilith

And I stare deeper into her eyes, my teeth gritting and my nostrils flaring.

For a second, she just looks at me, her face flushing with shame. “You said it was fine,” she finally urges.

I find myself taking an angry step closer. “It doesn’t fucking matter,” I say through gritted teeth, fighting this urge to grab her, “because you just went and made it so much fucking worse.“

And I keep standing there, holding my breath and looking at her looking at me in wonder.

“What the fuck’re you talking about?” she demands, narrowing her eyes at me.

It makes me let out a frustrated laugh, running my hand over my face so I can have a second without having to look into those eyes.

“This thing right here?” I say, in a relatively flat voice, when I lock eyes with her again. “You and I? Haven’t I made itclear as fucking day,” I demand, having to fight not to raise my voice, “I only ever do casual?”

For a second, she just looks at me with a pale face. Then she shakes her head. “Youdid,” she replies with a frown, “and I’m fine with that, really. Look,” she keeps going in a more rushed voice, not allowing me to jump in and trying to lock eyes with me again. “I’m genuinely sorry, once again, for disrespecting your privacy the other day, but I did promise—”

It makes the image of her hair spilled over my chest and her leg thrown over me flash through my mind, filling me with such burning hot rage that I barely stop myself from yelling.

I get in her face.“My privacy?” I echo with a bitter laugh. “It’s not even remotely possible to have anything like that with entirefleets,” I spit out, my face twisting in anger and my voice turning rushed and mocking, “of your family members constantly buzzing around, poking and prodding, whispering and throwing glances—”

Frowning, she takes a step back, folds her arms and cuts in, “You don’t have to haveanythingto do with my family.”

“Really?” I drawl, mirroring her by taking a step back and folding my arms. “So it didn’t just happen, your ex walking in on us?”

She flings her arms down to her sides in anger. “It wasyouwho textedme—”

“No no,” I cut her off, starting to pace up and down, nodding vigorously, “this reallyis myfault. I should’ve listened to Ricky when he said you were too complicated for someone like me.”

I come to a stop, seeing her squinting at me. “I just didn’t see it at the time,” I say with poison in my voice, “what this thing between usreallyis.”

And I’m just waiting for her to bite.

So when she asks, teeth gritting and nostrils flaring, “And what is it that you think it is?”

I jump straight in, stalking a little closer, narrowing my eyes at her and saying in a bitter little whisper, “A princess’s temper tantrum.”

“A princess’s temper tantrum?”she echoes angrily, taking a step back. “You arenotbeing fair.”

“I’mnot being fair?” I snap back with a laugh, starting to pace again. “I wanted something fun and casual, and I thought I was getting something fun and casual. When, in fact, I was letting myself become a prop in a royal fucking will-they-won’t-they.”

I blow a breath through my nose and come to a stop, fixing my eyes on hers. “It’s just that we all know how it’s going to end.”

She marches up to me, balling her hands into fists, and spits out, “You’re talking as if I’m getting back with him. I’mnot.”

I let out a frustrated laugh. “Oh you’re not?” I drawl. “So that was you saying no I just saw?” I ask as I motion at the entrance into the grove, where the two of them had their little chat.

And she opens her mouth to say something, but I’m fuming all of a sudden and I’m grabbing her by the wrist and getting in her face, forcing her to keep her eyes on me as I growl through gritted teeth, “Or was it you sayingabsolutely fucking nothing, just standing there, giving him exactly what he wants, preparing for a lifetime of that bullshit?”

She breaks her arm free, her frown disappearing as she retreats a little,again. She just looks at me for a second and says, in a softer voice that makes my muscles start relaxing a bit, “That’snotwhy I wasn’t saying anything. I’m never getting back with him. But there was so much going on in my head and I was soangrywith him—”

That makes me fucking snap. I lunge at her and I jab a finger in the air in front of her face and I yell, at the top of my lungs, “Don’t you fucking talk to me about your feelings for your ex.”

For a second, there’s only silence.

And I see the flash of surprise in her eyes and the way she pulls away, tension in her muscles.

Quickly, I take a step back and I steady my breathing and I see her relax, but it’s over because I’ve let it through already, so the rest just comes pouring out.

“Drama,” I spit out, planting my feet firmly in the ground and watching her eyebrows pull down. “It’s all fucking drama. And it’s not really your fault, I guess. It’s who you are. You’rea lot,and you’re like thatall the fucking time. It’s exactly the kind of thing I try to avoid.”

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