Page 147 of House of Lilith

“Do I look like I’m not?” I demand, my voice a little harsher than I meant to make it.

But that doesn’t seem to throw him off. He lowers himself into a crouch next to me. “Doesn’t sound like you’re talking about points at all,” he says, simply. “Care to tell me what youaretalking about?”

I lean a little forward, locking eyes with him and shooting him a warning look.

He lets out a nervous chuckle, pushes himself off the ground and announces, “Gonna go get that uniform now.”

I get up as well, the plan being spending as much time as I can in my tent, where no one can bother me.

But it’s at that exact moment that I see O’Malley marching over to me.

“Hey, Boss,” he says nonchalantly, “Romanov’s looking for you.”

And just like that, my mind goes blank.

*

“You free?” O’Malley asks as I keep staring at him stupidly. “I saw that you were on your phone…”

She’shere?

For a second, dread and longing each fight for their own place in my mind and my body.

“No, that’s fine,” I mutter, swallowing around a growing lump in my throat.

It gets worse when I spot her, O’Malley pointing out where my tent is and her starting to approach me, fast.

I don’t know if I can do this, I think as my heart starts pounding.

“Hey,” she says as she slows to a stop in front of me, looking up at me all formal and embarrassed.

“Hey,” I echo, flatly, folding my arms and forcing myself to channel a rock.

Just a plain rock, no feelings, nothing.

“So, um,” she starts, hesitantly, as she keeps trying to lock eyes with me.

And I’m not straight-out refusing to look at her, but I’m not letting her put me under her spell either.

Finally, she gives up and starts talking. “Look, I just wanted to apologize in person. For what happened last night. If you’re angry, you have every right to be.” She pauses for a second and I can tell it’s not easy for her to say it, but she does. “It was stupid, what I did.”

And there’s this overwhelming urge to talk back, to tell herexactlyhow stupid it was, but I stifle it.

A rock, I chant to myself, staying silent.

And I can tell she’s confused by my lack of reaction, but she doesn’t let it stop her. “Um,” she keeps going, “if you’re wondering why it even happened, I guess I let my curiosity get the better of me, and Ricky was there and, well, there’s really no excuse—”

“It’s fine,” I cut in, forcing a finality into my voice.

Because the longer she’s here, the closer I get to the brink of unraveling. “Now, if that’ll be all…” And I have to force myself to turn my back to her, but I do, moving for my tent.

She walks around me, looking up at me with those eyes of hers and making me double back, letting out a low groan.

“So you accept the apology?” she asks in a soft, fervent voice that pins me in place. “Because, seriously, it’s the first and last time I’ll let myself do anything likethat.”

And when I glance at them, there’s this plea in her eyes that makes it impossible for me not to offer something or to soften my voice as I say, “I believe you. I know you’re a good person, Romanov.”

“So we’re good?” she asks, the look in her eyes turning brighter.

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