Page 201 of House of Lilith

“That one day, you’ll grow up, and he’ll forever regret not getting to see another one of King Nikolay the Brave’s adventures.”

It makes my heart throb with pain, when I see his eyes turn watery.

“Look, Nick,” I start, swallowing around a lump in my throat. “I didn’t know how you felt about Father, the land and all that crap. It was stupid of me not to see it, but I didn’t see it.”

He doesn’t say anything.

“Now, let me tell you something,” I keep going, taking a deep breath so I can keep my voice steady. “Yes, I believe Fatherdiddo the right thing by leaving the land tome.”

At that, he tears his eyes away from me and turns to look at some spot to my left.

I don’t give up. “But it’s not just running his estates that you can do to make sure he’d be proud of you if he were still with us,” I tell him in a fervent voice. “There are so many paths in life. You just need to start exploring them, for real this time.”

Even before I finish saying that, it hits me, how stupid that might sound to him right now.

He turns to look at me again, letting out a scoff.

“I’m sorry, Nick. That was insensitive. But they did say you could get out in five,” I rush to say, expecting him to fall apart right in front of my eyes.

It’s at that very moment that I hear the guard give the door three sharp knocks.

And I run my hand over my face, my breathing turning shallow as I imagine my little brother being taken to the Bloodholm Authority Office and then gods knows where next. And my heart cracks and I feel tears start to well in my eyes.

But he just gives me a smile, blows an amused smile through his nose and says, in a voice that’s pensive and bone tired but somehow strong as well, “I guess I’m about to start bloody exploring.”

The guard gives another three sharp knocks before he barges in.

“This wasn’t fifteen minutes,” I snap as I get up, but my focus gets drawn to my brother again. He’s getting up, holding his hand out, making me see him in his pajamas with his teddy in his hand.

“Look, Nyx, I’m sorry,” he says, with a somber face and a fervent voice, as I grab his hand and pull him into a hug. “I’m sorry for saying you’re not my sister anymore,” he keeps talking into my ear. “You’ll always be my sister and I promise I’ll be a better brother.”

And I sense the guard come to stand behind me and I force myself to pull away. I throw him a smile, tears still in my eyes, and I turn on my heel and I start marching back up the stairs.

It’s okay, it’ll be okay, I tell myself, but my breathing remains shallow even after I reach the Grimm Tower Ground Floor.

But it’s not just Dahrian I find there. There’s Hilde rushing over to me, looking as if she’s about to cry. I have to expel a breath to stop myself from doing the same.

“I’ve come to say my goodbyes, too,” she says, all choked-up, as she comes to stop in front of me, shaking her head. “A part of me kept thinking they wouldn’t be taking him after all. Oh you must be devastated, Nyx. I’m so sorry.”

“No no,” I say with a shake of my head. “I’m the one who needs to say sorry.”

I take a deep breath, making her stop sniffling and frown at me. “Look, Hilde, here goes.” I pause for a second, anxious about what I’m about to do. “I guess I’ve always hated you a little bit.”

Her eyebrows shooting up, she lets out a scoff. “Never thought I’d say it,” she snaps, albeit warmly, “but I think I preferred it when you drew your knife at me.”

I blow a laugh through my nose. “No, listen,” I tell her, turning serious again. “It had nothing to do with you whatsoever. It was all me, me being pissed at myself for letting the world force me into making myself small.”

She tilts her head at me. “Aw.”

“Don’t you fucking ‘aw’ me,” I snap at her, but it only makes her let out a giggle.

So I roll my eyes at her and I say, fighting off the awkwardness as it starts flooding me, “Anyway, that’s all beside the point now. What I really want to get through to you, is how sorry I am for my behavior towards you, and how much I regret letting it stop me from getting toknowyou, like, for real.”

She raises her eyebrows at me, warmly but a little smugly as well.

“Um, so,” I start, feeling the awkwardness despite all the effort, “if you want to meet up over the summer…”

“That’s so f-ing sweet, Nyx,” she jumps in, grabbing my forearm to give it a little squeeze. “And yes, I’d love to. I mean,” she adds as she motions at Dahrian, giving me a knowing little smile, “I won’t count on it happening any time soon, but…”

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