Page 176 of House of Lilith

I stop to stare at her. “But now it’s done. Because you know what happened?”

“Somehow, I think I do.”

“I fell for him.”

“Shocking.”

“But itis, tomeat least,” I say as I keep angrily pacing. “I mean, the guy’s a real player. Checks all the boxes — the looks, the charm, the short attention span,” I add with a bitter scoff.

And my eyes narrow as I say, still pacing and gritting my teeth, “But I went into it thinking Iknewwhat guys like him do. You know what I mean?”

“Let me guess, youdidn’t?” comes a snarky reply.

“No, Ididn’t,” I snap as I stop to face her. “I sure as hell didn’texpect him to make me feel like I was the only girl in the world,” I drawl mockingly, “and the most special one at that. And it sounds so obvious when I say it, of course.”

“Congratulations on figuring it out. Now—”

“No,” I say with a wave of my finger in her face, “it’s onlynowwe’re getting to the best part.”

“Oh, aren’t they all?” she drawls, sarcasm dripping from every word.

But I’m already back to pacing, only now I’m throwing furious hand gestures into the mix as well. “Now that it’s done — and this is so fucking ridiculous, mind you — I actually find myself surprised and hurt about the fact that I don’t matter to him. I walk around expecting him to show up, to try to chat me up or drag me to one of his parties or just plain seduce me into meeting up with him again. And when I don’t get it, and I keep not getting it, it’s like, I don’t want to live in a world like that. He made me hate my fucking life because he’s no longer in it.”

And I stop and I turn to stare at her, finding her rolling her eyes at me with a heavy sigh.

“Yeah,” I say. “I know. And you know what’s worst of all?”

I don’t wait for a reply.

“Hewarnedme,” I spit out, bitterly. “The night we agreed to become fuck buddies, hetoldme he knew I’d fall for him. And I laughed in his face and then proceeded to fucking fall for him.” I let out an incredulous scoff. “How ridiculously stupid isthat? Didn’t I tell you it would be?”

She quirks her eyebrow at me. “Oh, so you’re done with your little pity party?”

“Yes.”

“And now you want to know what I think?”

“That’s why I’m here.”

She pushes herself away from the wall to get in my face, staring deep into my eyes when she says, in this disturbingly flat voice, “I was fourteen when they first dragged me out of bed and gave me to a husband who fucked me raw and then proceeded to whore me out to people he needed favors from. I was twenty one when he tortured and killed a lover of mine in front of my very eyes. And I was a hundred and twelve when I risked taking on another, only for them all to end up stabbing me in the back because of their egos.”

I just blink at her. It makes my anger die down a little, the shock that seems to have taken its place.

“Suffice to say,” she keeps going, ignoring the incredulous look in my eyes and starting to slowly walk around me, “I don’t do romance ofanykind.”

She comes to a stop in front of me, her cold eyes narrowing. “So if you think I’ll be helping you make your little boy toy fall for you, you’re dead wrong.”

“No, we won’t be doingthat, don’t worry,” I say, starting to feel more like myself than I’ve felt in a long time. “Besides, you’ve already given me what I wanted.”

“Really?” she asks, quirking an eyebrow as she takes a step back. “That’s it?”

“Yeah,” I say with a determined nod. “Just needed some tough love,” I continue in a flat, calm voice. “Someone who’d show me exactly how insignificant my problems are by talking about child-bride rapes and other delightful stuff like that. So thanks, Vasilisa. Now we can move on to discussing more important stuff.”

And I open my mouth to tell her what I found out by eavesdropping on my fiance, but she doesn’t let me.

“Wait,” she says, now squinting at me with this weird look on her face.

I nudge her to talk.

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